Oscars Recap

Last year, Oscar host Seth MacFarlane proved to be rather divisive: Some loved his song about breasts and his unnaturally white teeth, while others found him a little too vulgar for a night of glamour and gravitas. After Seth’s failure the producers decided to bring back an old favourite: Ellen DeGeneres aka Dory from Finding Nemo.

The opening monologue sets the tone for the night. Ellen started off weak until she broke out my favourite line of the evening: “there are two possibilities tonight. Possibility number one is 12 years a slave wins best picture. Possibility number two is you’re all racists.” Ellen’s success as a host depended on how her self righteous, self absorbed audience reacted to her calling them out on their ingrained prejudice. Much to my surprise, they all laughed. Ellen had relaxed the audience to the point that she could have punched Meryl Streep in the face and everyone still would have given her a pat on the back at the end of the night.

The theme of the night was supposedly “heroes” but this was mostly absent from the show. There were a couple of montages of heroic film figures like Indiana Jones, Superman and Bilbo Baggins (spot the odd one out there). Then there was a celebration of the 75th anniversary of The Wizard of Oz which they tried to tenuously link to the theme by calling Dorothy a hero. As I remember it, Dorothy spends the whole film whinging and stealing shoes… which isn’t my definition of a hero. Pop star Pink sang Somewhere Over the Rainbow, even though Judy Garland’s daughter Liza Minnelli was in the audience. I was disappointed that Liza made it through the performance without throwing her own Oscar at Pink’s head to shut her up.

The theme should have been “Ellen.” Forget about Cate Blanchett; the host was the real winner. Highlights included tweeting a selfie which became the most retweeted picture in twitter history (suck it Obama), and ordering pizza for everyone from a real delivery guy. Ellen helped the starstruck young man give snacks to Meryl Streep, Harrison Ford and Jennifer Lawrence while Brad Pitt handed out paper plates. I’m pretty sure I had a dream like that except I was eating the pizza and Brad was naked. Let’s move on…

The winners themselves were no real surprise, and their speeches weren’t revolutionary. Best Supporting Actress Lupita Nyong’o gave a moving and elegant speech while Supporting Actor Jared Leto spoke about the situation in Ukraine. I’m sure the Ukrainians will be thrilled to know a rich Oscar winner from Hollywood is thinking about them. I salute him for getting the words out, unlike John Travolta who referred to Idina Menzel by an incomprehensible mumble. Time to put him back in the closet (no pun intended) where he won’t have to talk to anyone.

Will Smith announced Best Picture winner. I love him, but he’s a bit of a downgrade from the previous year when Jack Nicholson (charisma personified) and Michelle Obama (the freakin’ FLOTUS) presented the award. The winner was 12 Years a Slave. This was hardly surprising but it did make Hollywood seem less racist so something good came from the night.

The Roundup:

 Best Picture– 12 Years a Slave

Lead Actor- Matthew McConaughey, Dallas Buyers Club

Lead Actress- Cate Blanchett, Blue Jasmine

Supporting Actor- Jared Leto, Dallas Buyers Club

Supporting Actress- Lupita Nyong’o, 12 Years a Slave

Director- Alfonso Cuaron, Gravity

Adapted Screenplay- John Ridley, 12 Years a Slave

Original Screenplay- Spike Jonze, Her

Images courtesy of nola.com, twitter.com/TheEllenShow, mirror.co.uk and nytimes.com