Toby Harris: On gym etiquette

Where, how and when to look?

When I’m running I don’t want to look at myself. Peripheral vision was supposed to be an evolutionary advantage but it renders havoc when trying to keep in solid physical health in front of a mirror. Why is it convention to make a wall of mirrors and place fitness machinery in front of them? When exerting myself physically, I want to be distracted from the spluttering torment of my workout, not constantly reminded. I don’t want to be looking at the visual embodiment of my internal discomfort. With every stride come four times as many beads of sweat – feeling the perspiration is enough. I don’t need to see it too.

Undertaking a New Years resolution of “healthy living” demands semi-regular visits to the university gym. It’s a worthy commitment but it comes with unexpectedly demanding social etiquette…

Whilst running, (as if looking at yourself was not bad enough) everyone else on the same row of machines has to look into the same mirror. You each know that you’re there but you panic in the scramble for appropriate social behaviour. Do you look across, pretend that you cannot see them, give a little smile or look down and stare at your feet? No, you don’t smile, a gym is a place for alone-time, not social interaction. If you pretend they’re not there, is that rude? How does one maintain an unbroken gaze into the reflection of your very own eyes for the whole duration?

Not only do you have your fellow runners aligned, looking in the same mirror but you have rows of multiple other “athletes” behind facing into it too. It is uncomfortable, especially when the person next to you is going about their workout free from odorous body moisture, whipping along like Bambi in a graceful fashion. This is in stark contract to the grimacing, moaning, grunting, coughing, irritable, pained, red faced panting mess beside them…me.

No matter where you look, you’re going to cross eyes with another punter. Now that doesn’t sound like an issue…but it is. If you get the cold, accusatory glance back, subsequent to locking eyes, you know you’re being silently judged for; staring, gazing or perving.

Locking eye contact, when the object of the gaze is in an awkward pose, is the nemesis of gymnasium conduct. If you happen to be a “gazing perpetrator” how do you rectify it? You can’t apologise as you haven’t really done anything. If you plead your innocence before being accused, you appear guilty. You can’t pull the unknown person over to one side as they exit the suite and say, “Oh, hi there, you may have seen me on the fourth running machine from the right…I noticed that you on the bike on the row behind me and I think you may have thought that I was staring at you when you bent over…umm…I just want you to know that I wasn’t.” Just “NO!” If they didn’t think you were barking crazy before that, they certainly will afterwards.

The purpose with this highly insightful column is to identify a “grey area” of sociality. The gym is a public place but very much a private activity offering no clear textbook decorum. Nonetheless, I think that “the greepy gaze” may be a feature of a gymnasium that we should all grow to accept. Bear in mind that what may appear as a condemnable act out of the gym may be straight-forward re-alignment of the gaze. What’s more, looking at yourself for a long time, no matter how beautiful you are, gets tiring. If someone gives you a little look, feel free to take a look back at him or her…perhaps even give a smile. It may even spark a bit of romance.