The Stand’s Guide for all the Single Ladies on Valentine’s Day

Dateless on the ultimate date night? Single in St Andrews? Freaking out about Friday the fourteenth? Do not sweat, The Stand has embraced all the clichés and is providing you with the ultimate guide for your single Valentine’s Day.

Option 1: Ignore completely

Much like that well-known dictum, ‘If I don’t remember, it didn’t happen,’ employ this stance for Valentine’s Day… ‘If I’m pretending it’s not happening, it’s not happening.’ Think strong, independent woman. Channel Beyoncé circa The Destiny’s Child era – you can do this. You came here to get an ace degree and to kick start your career in the Foreign Office or at that eminent hedge fund, not just to leech off the Kate Kennedy boys. (I’m guessing…)

Option 2: Be a smart girl and plan ahead.

Ladies, there is still time! Remember that guy… the one you made out with once, he was kind of cute, right? … And he’s definitely in your English tutorial this year, and definitely supported your view of Jude the Obscure against the class know-it-all. ‘Accidentally’ sit next to him and rekindle the fire, you never know…

Option 3: Wallow in self-pity

Don’t leave your house. All day. Bring out the onesie and blast out ‘All by myself’ à la Bridget Jones, eat an excessive amount of 2 for 1 Mini Eggs and drink a bucket load of Aldi’s finest.  Moan obsessively about the lack of Mr Darcy in your life and finally break down to Dire Straits ‘Romeo and Juliet.’ (Or that might just be me…)

Option 4: Hold an anti-valentine’s day party

Follow the trend of Jessica Biel and friends in the film Valentine’s Day, gather all the single ladies together, buy a piñata (I’m pretty sure they sell them in Tesco) and host an anti-Valentine’s day party. Ignore fire regulations, create a burn bucket for past mementos of boys who have scorned you over the year and, like Monica, Rachel and Phoebe, wait for those handsome firemen to arrive at your door.

Option 5: Embrace the love

Run through the airport, create a flash mob, throw stones at their window, sing a specially prepared song, hold up flash cards declaring your love; embrace all the Hollywood stereotypes and go win the guy. Admit it, you know where he lives, this could be your last chance…

Option 6: If all else fails…

Play this. On repeat. And remember being single on Valentine’s Day is not the end of the world (I hope…)