Why I hate the library

Between perpetually getting stuck in the world’s most annoying security machines and having awkward encounters with people whose names I can’t remember, I tend to avoid the library at all costs. Apart from scuttling there and back for essay reference material, I make a concerted effort to bypass this terrifying building whenever possible. I maintain that the library is an abhorrent institution designed to make students feel horrible about their measly existences. But what’s worse than the building itself is the people who frequent it. Besides overly keen freshers who think a 20 on their management test will make a difference in their lives, this is what I have deduced about people who actually spend time at the library.

Ground Floor. Oh, you. Pretending you actually study while spending the last hour recounting last Friday night at the Vic. While the florescent bright lights and white linoleum tables may make you FEEL studious, in reality you’re just posturing. The social hub of the library, the ground floor is the place to see and be seen. Logging hours at the lib may make you feel less guilty about your upcoming pub crawl, but if you’re sitting on the ground floor I can’t take you seriously.

Cafe. While horrific coffee and cold overpriced sandwiches might be your thing, studying isn’t. This is the only place you’re less likely to get work done than the rest of the ground floor. Only frequented by those who need to stay awake or are too busy to get proper food, the Cafe is not the Uni student’s best friend. Go home.

Cubicles. Where the ADHD go to study. This three sided box may look like a prison cell, but it’s where the easily distracted can find inner peace. If the sight of another human being makes you cry, find yourself a box. Personally, I would rather be in solitary confinement.

Silent Area. In first year, I made the rookie error of attempting to hold a whispered conversation on the second floor. An intimidating Scottish woman quickly broke up the party and I haven’t been back since. For the so called ‘serious students’, the Silent Area is an oppressive and dispiriting place. Surrounded by stressed students furiously tapping away at their keyboards while tugging at their hair and listening to Mozart, the only thing you’ll get out of the Silent Area is a headache.

As someone who finds the daily habits of the average St Andrean overwhelmingly fascinating, I deduce a great deal based on the timing of one’s library habits. If you’re there before or at 8.00 am: What is wrong with you?? Go to Starbucks and get yourself a latte. Between 10 am – 6 pm: Congrats, you’re one of 6000 undergrads with coursework. If you’re here between 12 am and closing time, aside from essay deadlines, I’m sorry you have no life.

The worst part of this studious hub is that I will inevitably find myself there.

Image courtesy of http://www.st-andrews.ac.uk/