The Stand’s guide to Revision Breaks

You should be revising! What are you doing reading crap on The Stand?

Do you think a 2:2 will make your father finally tell you he’s proud??? Go away! Close this window immediately you lazy good-for-nothing thumb-twiddler!

Right, hopefully that’s filtered out some of the more soft-core procrastinators (people who think Buzzfeed counts as a study break). Here is a list of revision breaks for those of you who view slacking as an art-form: an intricate dance between sloth and fear, performed to the entrancing tune of self-deception:

1) Go for a walk.

That sounds like a good idea, right? Get out of the library. I bet you’d work much more effectively once you’d had some fresh air. In fact, there’s a really nice walk behind the Health Centre up the big hill. And when you get to the top, the town and the University look insignificant and the sea and the sky look really big and all of your stress just floats away. This is what some might call a gateway procrastination technique and a really good first step towards some of the more hardcore stuff below.

Time: 1.5 hours
Addiction risk: low
Projected grade: 16.5

2) Have some sex.

The best way to relieve stress! Give your significant other a buzz and then give them another. Or if you’ve thus far avoided the mysterious encoupling powers of our University…
Remember to stay safe kids!

Time: 2 hours…  that’s right honey… well, I mean… 1 hour 58 minutes might just be cuddling…
Addiction risk: Medium
Projected grade: 15

3) Coppa Feel!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XEvq4_ToU4A
The best cure for cancer is early detection! Give your breasts the once over. And guys, just cus it’s December, there’s Mo excuse to stop checking your balls. Why not incorporate this into Revision Break No. 2?

Time: 15 seconds… unless you find something… in which case you have even more excuse to avoid work.
Addiction risk: Low
Projected grade: 17

4) Moss Graffiti

The name is pretty self-explanatory. Get a pile of moss, blend it with some water, yogurt and a wee bit of sugar. Paint it on a damp wall. The moss grows in the shape you painted. IT’S AMAZING!!!! (or… a-mossing… hahahaha)

Time 30 minutes
Addiction risk: High… the moss needs watered… regularly
Projected grade: 14

5) Play the game:

Limbo http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=irBwfZ8iAYU
Indie video games are cool. This one is the best procrastination technique I’ve ever tried. Guiding a little boy through manifold terrors and gruesome annhilitation in a hauntingly beautiful world half way between life and death is the best way to put your exam worries in perspective. The lateral thinking and logic required to progress in the game mean it’s probably more useful than revision anyway. The demo is free (http://limbogame.org/store/)… give it a try if you think you can handle it.

Time: 8 hours
Addiction risk: Very high
Projected grade: 9.5

6) Bobnational.co.uk

This revision break is not for the light hearted. Only those highly trained in procrastination should risk it.
If you weren’t aware of bobnational already, it’s all TV, ever, accessible with your Uni login. That’s a lot of Fresh Prince of Belair.
If you’re already aware of bobnational… Netflix have one month free trials.

Time: Unlimited
Addiction risk: Similar to nicotine
Projected grade: 4

Happy Procrastinating and good luck in your exams!

(Editor’s Note: P.S. The Stand takes no responsibility for failure of your exams)

Images courtesy of Meryl Ackroyd and http://www.keepcalmandcarryon.com/creator/