Joanna Bowman: on bursting the Bubble

Joanna discusses the haze of the bright lights and the big city.


I burst the Bubble. No; disappointingly, not an innuendo but instead a trip to Edinburgh. A trip to Edinburgh was something I had been eagerly anticipating; finally a reminder of London, and the joy of not knowing every fourth person spread over three streets. Finally, air full of carcinogens and pollutants: buses – the final destination of which wasn’t familiar to me.

However, much to my dismay, it turned out that city life has changed from being my day-to-day existence to an oddly alien concept. St Andrews has turned me from a suave (I’ve never been suave) urban figure, hopping on and off the Tube and swiping my Oyster Card on tens of buses a day to someone who has managed to neglect the key lessons anyone who lives in a city knows like the back of their hand.

I forgot that making eye contact with people as you walk down the street not only doesn’t happen, but is something to be avoided at all costs. If accidental eye contact is made you don’t, as I foolishly did, smile. Instead, you both – for this relies on all parties involved knowing ‘The City Rules’ – look away, embarrassed and quickly as if it didn’t happen.

I forgot that I need to look both left AND right when crossing the road and that in a city, drivers have no qualms about putting their hand on the horn. Conversely if you are part of a large pack of people it is encouraged to simply walk in front of the traffic because group thought creates the belief a mass of pedestrians will scare any driver from ploughing into them.

I forgot that apologies have no need to be offered when walking into people, rather a shove to move people out of your way is not only allowed but seemed to be the only acceptable course of action in the packed Christmas Market. When receiving change from whichever tacky Christmas product you have been conned into spending your student loan on, don’t wish the sales person a ‘good day’ for this will only be greeted with a quizzical look of confusion. I forgot that it is possible to get lost in a place where there are more than three streets and found myself wandering blindly around, stuttering at various strangers for help.

I’m dreading going back to London for Christmas. This weekend has taught me I am incapable of living anywhere where the population is anything over 17000 people. Someone please teach me how to live in a city again.