Toby Harris: Those moments…

This is a tribute to those awkward social encounters that you think never happen to anyone else, but thankfully, they do. Seek refuge in the fact that others go through what you do.

Firstly, the infamous, “food stuck in teeth” is a common enemy of the largely toothed human. Having a conversation during or after a meal can often result in an awkward moment when you witness the object of the conversation subliminally putting their tongue on their front teeth.  The tongue on tooth manoeuvre is an obvious symptom of “food on tooth.” If there is something caught between the upper incisors, let ‘em know!

In seeking to impress, disaster often strikes. When you become conscious of your every action, self-awareness and over-analysis usually culminate in social calamity. A person that shall remain nameless was a victim of this exact course of action: he was trying to impress two attractive females. When walking through the double doors of a shop, the chap went to hold the doors open in a gentlemanly effort to seduce a smile from said females. As he went to pull the doors open, a sudden breeze forced several strands of one of the girl’s hair between the lad’s hand and the door handle – resulting in the bloke pulling out multiple strands of the poor lass’ mop.

However, sometimes we do not wish to confront a potential future of past partner. The avoidance tactic usually forces one to employ the classic: ‘duck and dive’; ‘hide and squirm’ or ‘run and cry’. These are synonyms for the same, go-to-move when you see the one person you hoped to escape. If you have a weeping eye, just left the gym in a sweaty heap or haven’t had time to have a shower in the morning – this is what the lion share of us employ when you see the one person that you do not want to. I have a solution: embrace your state of being, say hello and do not be shy. Unavoidably, they will see you and you will look worse if you don’t.

There is nothing particularly unsavoury about purchasing toilet roll but if you’re at the cashier buying it in bulk, the looks you get are ones of judgement. What’s a bit of excretion between friends? If anything it should be a turn on, displaying your functional digestive system. Better that than chronic constipation. Stay proud, we all buy it, we all use it, and if you don’t, then questions should be asked.

We have all been in a hurried fluster when bustling to make a lecture or tutorial after leaving five minutes too late. The dreaded moment comes when a multitude of layered clothes combines with the self-inflicted work-out (to make up for lost time) to form a sweaty combination of fleece and perspiration. Sweat, books, rosy cheeks and a distinct lack of preparation leads to an undesirable combo.

People, but especially students find the need to carry all: files, books, laptop and shopping bags all at one. We have all are dropped one, gone to pick it up and whilst doing so everything else that we are carrying and balancing spills out of our grasp and onto the floor in front. This is subsequently followed by the classic, “grunt and scramble”.

If you thought you were the only one, seek refuge in the fact that you are not. Life is not Hollywood.

Image courtesy of giadreams.blogspot.com