Review: BLACKOUT…Stocks and Bondage

The ladies and gentleman of the Global Investment Group, with their large investment fund and impressive list of internships, are unquestionably tipped to be the CEOs and CFOs of our generation. I fear then, that I am about to piss off an awful lot of very important people.

GIG promised us ‘the best night out of town’ with their annual excursion from the Golf Hotel to the Dundee club scene. It sounded hopeful: along with a stellar review for last year’s efforts, for £35 VIPs were again promised a generous helping of champagne, whilst VIP+ secured a private table with additional Belvedere vodka for an extra £10. Classic tickets came in at £15, which got you one glass of cava at the reception and bus travel to and from Fat Sams.

The night started well. The hotel’s white, softly lit ballroom was a beautiful backdrop to the black sparkles and suits that soon flooded in, with some really impressive outfits on show. Champagne was readily available to VIPs, but Classics were soon hurried out the door around 9.20pm so that the VIPs could enjoy some peace from the rabble. In Dundee, Fat Sams began to fill up after a seriously hairy bus ride – there is an art and a balance to pre-drinking, Freshers I suggest you learn it! Guests were greeted by an utterly bizarre performance from ‘Burlesque Dance Team’ the Blue Angels, consisting of four black-clad girls, prancing around utterly out of time. I dread to think how much of the budget was allocated to entertainment, but next time please stick with the stilt walkers.

Bar waiting times were not unreasonable, but when the time came for money to exchange hands, a shock was in store. The assumption that drinks were cheap (we were, after all, in Dundee) could not have been more wrong, with shots coming in around £3 and bottles £3.50 and up. No matter for the VIP section however, as the Moët flowed… or rather, trickled down an absolutely packed bar for a while before running dry, resulting in the VIP section becoming open to all just after midnight. After jostling through I managed to grab one glass, as well as notice that fresh drinks were being poured straight into dirty, used glasses, without so much as a wipe with a dishcloth. Not such a VIP service.

It seems that the extra £20 essentially won you an extra drink or two – undoubtedly not worth it. The VIP+ seemed to be having a better time, as they were provided with vodka and bottles at their tables so didn’t need to fight the crowd – I would certainly suggest to future ticket buyers to spend the extra £10, as you will receive lots more goodies with a lot less queuing.

VIP disappointments aside, the Classics seemed to be having a good time – decent music, spacious dance floor and, despite astronomical prices and a broken card machine, an accessible bar. For £15, BLACKOUT offered an excellent value evening with transport, reception and club entry, and most of these ticket holders seemed perfectly happy with their experience, despite a rather hastened exit from the reception.

The biggest disappointment came in the form of the unanticipated and rather astonishing ‘VIP Black’ arrangement. GIG, forgive me if I am mistaken and please feel more than free to correct me, but it looked as though this particular assortment of Important People were able to inhabit a very private bar for the evening, where champagne gushed freely. Did anyone else notice a ‘VIP Black’ ticket for sale? I have scoured the various event pages but can’t see one anywhere. Am I too bold to suggest that perhaps this room was cornered off for a very select group of GIG members and friends, so they could enjoy an extravagant night away from the masses? I wonder how much their tickets were…

Well done, GIG, for holding an event that was great fun for the Classic ticket holders, and obviously yourselves. You certainly are true businessmen and women, but I don’t think I’ll be attending again next year.