Revision procrastination: What’s the perfect program?

During the exam season, even procrastination through the mediums of Buzzfeed and Reddit can become tiresome. Over and over we are confronted with lists of ‘worst autocorrects’, or animated gifs […]


During the exam season, even procrastination through the mediums of Buzzfeed and Reddit can become tiresome. Over and over we are confronted with lists of ‘worst autocorrects’, or animated gifs of the same exasperated/terrified/bored characters.

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But sometimes commiseration with others is not the optimum form of procrastination. I prefer extreme escapism, for which severe dedication to any of these will more than suffice.

Ideally, a procrastination television series has 3 common elements:

Longevity: Minimum 3 series. What is the point if it runs out before you’ve finished the exam period?

High drama: Whatever is happening on screen must far exceed the importance of your study – you must be able to feel guilty about revising when the characters in your chosen series are in mortal peril.

Minimal effort: Think easily accessible – a channel 4 programme where all past seasons are available, a BoB reliable – if you can’t watch it, you’ll just get frustrated and angry and probably start relating this failure to all other failures in your life up to now and into the future…and it’ll all get too much and you’ll start planning out your future as a professional cat walker (a professional dog walker requires a 2:1 at least).

After 3 years in St Andrews I have experienced 6 exam periods, and become excessively attached to a particular drama in each. Here are my top picks (and bear with me, it’s not necessarily quality that is most important).

Monarch of the Glen: 1st year. A previous BBC regular, it follows the rather overly dramatic and comedic running of Glenbogle estate, up the Highlands. Think lots of tartan and deer stalking and fights over laird-ship. Consider it a requirement to your assimilation into Scottish culture. 

Downton Abbey: 2nd year. I resisted for so long. So long. Julian Fellowes does peril very well however, and there is never any mention of academic study. You’ll forget that it actually exists, essentially. It’s easy to empathise with the characters too: they go to balls, you go to balls; they wear gowns and white tie, you wear gowns and white tie. Everything else is trivial surface detail.

Grey’s Anatomy: 3rd year. Coming to the end of it’s 9th series (20-odd episodes in each) this can almost be perceived as a challenge to the endurance of your viewing commitment. There are shootings, plane crashes, explosions and an unnatural amount of births/deaths/marriages which, when watched in quick succession, definitely puts those three measly exams into perspective. I would go so far as to say (in a revision-delirious state) that GA provides a service: reminding you of your own mortality in order to reduce academic stress.

 

Other contenders include Mad Men (a little too strong a focus on workplace productivity), Homeland (shows potential, but too much like studying for IR), Made in Chelsea (too irritating over after 5 hours dedication) and Games of Thrones (too difficult to remember all the characters all the time).

Good luck with exams, and remember: if you can’t be academically productive, at least in watching a season you’ve achieved something. Call it ‘cultural study’.

image © Amazon.co.uk