Why we need a taco truck

Revision: a time when even the most religious of gym-goers falls into a vortex of laziness, junk food, and stress-induced acne. Let’s face it, we’re all ugly at the end of exams. Last semester’s revision week left me passed out in a pile of Mars bar wrappers, Dr. Noodles boxes, and bags of Salt & Vinegar crisps. There is only one thing that could make revision better (or less depressing), something that has long been missing from the streets of St Andrews. Two words: taco truck.

1. Tacos make you smarter. Guaranteed. In a poll recently done by whyamisosmart.com, 97.4% of voters credited Mexican food as the number one reason why they are just so damn intelligent. So all the revision you’ve been doing for those exams? Unnecessary. The answer is a taco truck parked outside the library, bringing you Mexican munchies all day long.

2. Get some flavah up in the hizz house. I don’t care how ‘authentic’ the Grill House’s fajitas, chimichangas, or nachos claim to be. Just because you dump a shizz ton of guac and jalapeños on a platter of tortilla chips does not make you a purveyor of fine Mexican cuisine. It doesn’t matter how many pictures of señoritas in sombreros you have on your walls. The fact remains that the St Andrews Mexican food scene needs more revamping than the Union. #getonit

3. Magical ability to be in the right place, at the right time. Drunkenly stumbling out of the Lizard/Union/bar at 3am? BOOM. The taco truck is there to fulfill your every drunken food desire (and it beats stuffing your face with a Dervish kebab for the umpteenth time). Coming off a late-night stint at the libs? BOOM. Enjoy a burrito while wandering home, revelling in how pathetic you feel for spending Friday night in the library. Again.

4. Everything tastes better out of the back of a truck. Ice cream, hot dogs, candy from a stranger… Just ask the buffalo guys.

5. This is why we elect student representatives. Why worry about things like increasing student accommodation for the Class of 2079 when you can e-mail your reps about benefitting the class of RIGHT NOW? Reading Week may be a thing of the past, but a taco truck can be a thing of tomorrow.

To whoever finally gets the brains to make this taco truck dream a reality: I expect freebies. Or a job.