Get the look: Hangover Chic

Did you go home rather than go hard? Are you hangin’ off the ground floor rather than the top? Did you hit up the lib rather than the liz? Did you drink your way through May Dip 2k13?!

We get it. It’s deadline season. Exams are hovering in wait like your wee cousin outside a Justin Bieber concert and we’ve just frozen our arses  off in the North Sea. It’s not long until inevitable doom. With the sun taunting us through the library windows, it’s understandable that getting WASTED isn’t your main priority. But my lash hounds, you have a reputation to uphold. 

These are the best years of your life! Where vomming mid-lecture earns you lad points. Where not remembering the night before is bad only because you went to Dundee and may have commited crimes. Where 1000 people turn up to some rich golfers’ rented flat and the police lights turn it into a rave. 

We understand, you’re worried about your street cred more than your grades. This article is for you. If you weren’t out last night, and really wish you had been, follow these simple instructions. Never have someone say you look chirpy again.

Get the Look: Hangover Chic.

Begin with some simple make-up tips to have your face say “sleep? I laugh in the face of sleep”. Any residue of yesterday’s make-up is a fantastic starting point. If not, never fear, grab a matte purple eyeshadow. We like the MAC shadow in Plum Dressing. Line the upper and lower lid and blend downwards, following the blend with a flesh coloured concealer. Finish with a touch of GOSH black kohl in the inner corners of your eye, dragging downwards to create the perfect under-eye bag. Or, for a more authentic look, just punch yourself in the face. 

image © mac.co.uk

image © superdrug.com

Now you’ve created the bags, it’s time to pretend to hide them. Everyone knows feeling rough is accompanied by a pair of shades. You were sooo wild last night and obviously all daylight is offensive. The glasses you choose symbolise the kind of hangover you have…

RayBans: for if you want a hangover like everyone else.

Aviators: for if you were flying high as a kite.

Bug-Eyed: for blocking as much sunlight as possible. Your pretend throbbing headache will thank you later.

Neon green: the reflection will give you that perfect seasick glow. Ahoy mateys, vomming enough to fill seven seas.

image © celebrity-sunglasses-finder.com

Everyone knows a hangover requires a hoodie. Beware, however, they are more symbolic than team edward vs jacob. It’s a battle, a deadly battle between the private schools. Edinburgh vs Glasgow, volunteering vs sport.  Your hoodie is the ultimate statement of altruism, so make sure the back of it sums you up perfectly. A tag line of “South Africa 2k12: where I played hockey and spent 2 days helping the poor people” should cover all bases. 

Team your look with a pair of garish patterned leggings. We like this statement pair from Missguided. Ironic, because at least these leggings aren’t as misguided as last night’s decisions. 

image © misguided.co.uk

Didn’t make it to Under Canvas? Go to the hardware store, buy a litre of Dulux wall paint, pour it over your head. No one will ever know. 

Work the Look:

Where you rock your hangover chic will convince more unsuspecting individuals. The key is to be spotted in certain places around the bubble. This will convince people that you are hangin, and hangin hard. The perfect accessory for your look is a Zest smoothie. Make sure you have only a few sips though – your poor liver and delicate state can only handle so much carrot juice. For those who had far too much wine with their cheese, try a bloody mary in the Westport. Or strut down Market Street while downing a Red Bull. Finally, if all else fails, do not leave your bed for 24 hours. 

headline image © Ali Stokes http://lightboxcreative.me/