Pick a pet, any pet

For many of us, we may feel that there is something missing from our lives. It’s small (mostly), loud (always), fluffy (obviously) and animal shaped (ta daa). Not having a pet at uni is something that I, for one, want to remedy. I have been known to ask my mother to let me Skype el puppos, as I do miss them more than her… How much would our quality of life improve if we had a furry friend to come home to? Just think of the cuddles. They’d even be happy if you tried to get them drunk. Not advised. 

Everyone should get a pet, end of. While they might create a rather hefty dent in the student loan, having something that will love you unconditionally in St Andrews is a rarity. They’re a fantastic way to bond with your flatmates and an indispensable dating tool. Guys: there’s nothing more a girl loves than a puppy-lover. Girls: you know the phrase “people are their pets”? Get a super gorgeous dog and boost those hot points. 

For the adventurous students among us, you’ll have taken the bold leap of commitment and acquired a four-legged flat member. Those of you who have your own house here can walk freely though the streets, clutching your friend’s lead with reverent delight. You’ll know full well you have every right to pound the costal path with your canine/feline/rabbit.

How to walk a rabbit.

Then we have the “secret pet” flats. Pretty much self-explanatory. You sign a lease that details “NO PETS ALLOWED” and bring your furry flatmate home. Secret pets are hard, must be hidden during all inspections, and you can’t walk them freely (cue midnight power walks along west sands). Will that not arouse suspicion? It’s a life of stress and worry. But the pet makes it worth it. And besides, it’s not really a pet… It’s your friend.

So what pet would be best for St Andrews? 

Dog  

Pros: Can be small and won’t take over your entire flat. They can be shipped out to friends when it’s inspection time. They’re very cute. A dog would make your life complete and your flat would be the go-to place.

Cons: Expensive, and you could get your lease revoked. You can’t party too loudly when they’re in the house (sensitive hearing, you know). Need lots of exercise – getting them to play on the Wii doesn’t count.

Verdict: Do it. A dog’s for uni and not just for Christmas. 

Cat 

Pros: Stress reliever. They don’t require as much attention as dogs do. If you get a ginger one, can pass him off as Hamish during inspection time. Cheaper.

Cons: Moody/slutty/aloof little bastards.

Verdict: #COLO. Well, more like nine times, but hey… 

Fish

Pros: They won’t take over your house. They’re easy to hide, a lot cheaper, and you get to buy all those cool castle things with the coral bits and mini Titanics.

Cons: A bit boring. Potential of the ‘drunk you’ deciding that they really need to try vodka. 

Verdict: I’d do it for the mini castle. 

Hamster

Pros: Pop them in their ball and everyone’s happy! 

Cons: Drunken footballers in the house?

Verdict: They are adorable.

Well, I’m not sure which pet would be best, but the problem of potentially killing your new BFF is very high. The cost could cause some damage to your shot intake, and we don’t even want to go in to what would happen to your lease. But I feel the pros outweigh the cons. Pets are a cure for homesickness, help you make friends and lovers, help to bond flatmates (“What do you mean he’s pooed everywhere?!”) and they’re wonderful. Pets are loving, comforting and adorable – better than most humans. Really, what more do you want?

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