The ‘Other’ Woman

Living in a place like St Andrews, it’s normal to come across all types of opinions on what the dating or romantic scene is like here. There’s the happy couple who met and married, the f**kbuddies, the friendzoned girls and guys, and, as per usual, those who are single and are A) disgruntled by their relationship status or B) ready to spread themselves around unashamedly. There’s one thing you can’t deny: people in St Andrews are not afraid to talk about their love lives. There is, however, one perspective from which we have yet to hear. The ‘other’ woman.

It’s not something that’s really talked about. Sure, cheating is as common here as it is anywhere. For some reason though, I find that I’ve pretty much slipped and tumbled into a huge steaming vat of it. Everywhere I look, I find prospects, and for once, they’re people I actually could like. I’m one step up from the Lizard hookup, and if something were to happen with any of these people, I wouldn’t regret it. There’s the one tiny detail – about these people I’m keen on – that I may have left out. Well, they’re in committed relationships. That should mean something, no? Apparently not.

I’m curious as to what others think, so I’ve asked around. Most people I’ve spoken to agree that cheating is a problem. It’s a breakage of a contract, no matter how lax the contract is. If you’re in a relationship, it usually means both people have acceded to being in it, and that both expect the other to stay faithful.

Opinions diverge from behaviour, as with any controversial topic. It seems like some enjoy cheating. Here’s where morality comes in. Should you feel guilty? Do you tell your partner? If you’re the other woman (a position I find myself taking now more and more often), do you tell their partner? Is it your place to do so? 

I’m not interested in taking a high and mighty stance on this topic. After all, look at me. I’m the ‘other’ woman, the one with whom the cheaters fantasize. Being with me appeals only because they can’t have me. The question is, why? Why does this happen so often? Am I giving off a vibe that says, “Hey baby, I’m into polygamy, why not?” Also, don’t cheaters feel remorse? Is it a normal thing to do? Here’s the opinion of the ‘other’ woman: I feel badly. I never want to be second plate. By trying to get out of your relationship, you’re degrading the both of us. You believe that I’d be willing to think this is okay. By doing this, you’re accepting that there is something wrong with your relationship.

I don’t see anything wrong with being in a relationship with more one person, as long as all parties are informed. This isn’t the case here, though. I’m judging all you cheaters out there, because I know what it’s like. I’ve been the one being cheated on and the one being cheated with. I’m not scared to assume the title, I just want you to assume yours.

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