Oscar Predictions: Who will it be?

Every year I find myself fascinated by the Oscars, the glitzy event where the Hollywood elite gather to congratulate themselves on another year of being rich and famous. I write […]


Every year I find myself fascinated by the Oscars, the glitzy event where the Hollywood elite gather to congratulate themselves on another year of being rich and famous. I write endless lists of frontrunners and stay up until 4am on the night to watch the events unfold. I even sit through every vapid red carpet interview conducted by Ryan Seacrest, the living Ken doll. Luckily for you, I’ve taken a break from weeping over the latest draft of my acceptance speech to give you the lowdown on who could win big this year.

Best Picture

Despite Argo winning almost every award ever, Ben Affleck wasn’t nominated for his direction. The Academy members feigned shock, forgetting that they were the ones who failed to nominate him in the first place. It seems likely they’ll correct their oversight by handing him Best Picture as a consolation prize.

Best Actor

It must be hard to be married to Daniel Day-Lewis. He stops making films for four years—probably so he can lie on the sofa and watch ‘Loose Women’—and when he finally finds a job, he gets into character by living as Abraham Lincoln for months on end. Luckily for Mrs. Day-Lewis it paid off, as the Irishman is practically a dead cert.

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Best Actress

Emmanuelle Riva’s surprising, but totally deserved, win at the BAFTAs is unlikely to be enough to derail Jennifer Lawrence’s path to success for Silver Linings Playbook. The young star is a talented actress but the Academy are probably more intimidated by the skills she acquired with a bow and arrow in The Hunger Games.

Best Supporting Actor

The Academy are experts at kicking a man when he’s down. Not only was Leonardo DiCaprio snubbed yet again for his scene stealing performance in Django Unchained, but the five nominees are all previous winners. While Leo forgets his troubles with a conveyer belt of Victoria’s Secret models, his co-star Christoph Waltz will probably be picking up his second Oscar, although this category is still relatively open.

Best Supporting Actress

There’s a formula to winning an Oscar. Men should portray a Holocaust survivor or someone with mental health issues. If you’re a woman, you need to be Meryl Streep or lose half your body weight. Anne Hathaway has obviously failed on the first front, but the gossip rags have spent months banging on about her dramatic diet, so that’s enough for her to be the clear frontrunner here.

Best Director

Ben Affleck’s absence from this category has left it more open than most. I am a proud Michael Haneke fan girl, but during exams I went through a short-lived gambling addiction and placed an ill-advised bet on Ang Lee to win for Life of Pi. Unfortunately, my gut tells me that Spielberg, the star pupil of the Academy, will win—and my betting career will meet a swift end. Steven, if you win, you owe me £10.

Best Original Screenplay

When you get to the screenplay awards, audience members generally start to switch off. That is until loose cannon Quentin Tarantino steps in. He is to screenwriting what Mary Berry and Paul Hollywood are to baking; he makes it cool. Voters will support Django Unchained partly because of Tarantino’s unparalleled skill, but mostly because they think voting for a Civil War movie with a black hero will make them look progressive.

Best Adapted Screenplay

The voters clearly want to ease their conscience about the whole slavery thing, as it seems Lincoln writer Tony Kushner is the favorite for this award. I have yet to see the film, but it seems like a perfect fit for the predominantly white Americans in the Academy. There’s nothing they like more than a movie about white dudes who give really good speeches (To Kill a Mockingbird, Mr. Smith Goes to Washington etc).


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