Confessions of a late girl

I’m late. No, I’m not pregnant. I’m just always late – to everything. I think it’s a disease. No matter how early, how many times, how loud I set my alarm clock, I just can’t get up when I’m supposed to. I guess it may be time to invest in one of those alarms that shake the bed like an earthquake. Though that might feel awkward and weirdly sexual…

I like to be up about an hour before class starts. It gives me time to shower, watch a TV show online that aired in the US the night before and eat some breakfast. However, it seems I’m always rushing out the door with sopping wet hair, a poorly buttered piece of toast, and a blouse that’s only buttoned halfway.

Theoretically, my morning should go more smoothly. Especially because I take about ten minutes max to throw on clothes, a face and tame my knotty hair. If I don’t take long to primp, you might ask what makes me so late. Towel time. Okay, it’s not perversely sexual, I promise. Sometimes you just want to chill out in your towel before getting dressed. There are very few things that bug me more than putting on jeans right after a shower. My towel’s comfy and I enjoy lounging around in it while I watch my weekly fix of Pretty Little Liars.

And I know I’m not the only late one here. Market Street is filled with students who are speed walking and scrambling to get to their tutorials that started ten minutes ago. We’ve all seen the lecture latecomers who struggle to find an empty seat. They always try to come in quietly as not to disturb everyone else. But I mean, come on, of course everyone is going to hear you slam the door and watch with a smirk as you climb over three people to the closest empty seat.

Yes, fine, I do sit in the aisle seats so that I can bolt as soon as a lecture ends. I don’t want to get stuck behind some prick who takes forever to put his/her shit away. I know it’s wrong, but I still do it. So naturally, I hate it when other people do it. Really? You can’t move down four seats to make room for EVERYONE ELSE that needs to sit through this lecture? It’s going to be uncomfortable for both of us, bud, when I have rub up against you to get by. I know it’s hypocritical, but I’m not exactly the most rational person.

To all you late people, I get you. I understand your laziness and need for towel time completely. But when I see someone walk in late to class with a venti skinny latte in hand from Starbucks, I just want to scream GTFO (get the fuck out).