X Factor Live: The Final

After losing literally millions of viewers the X Factor has finally ended. Every finale deserves a grand send off, so the contestants were whisked off to the exotic Manchester Central. I was expecting the O2, or anywhere I’d previously heard of, but beggars can’t be choosers.

After a montage recapping the last ten weeks, and making my job null and void, the eliminated contestants took to the stage. All of your favourites returned, including that one with the hair and the girl with kids. Oh, the memories.

Jahmene was the first act to lay the gauntlet. He performed ‘Move On Up’ in front of Big Ben. Apparently he was also expecting the show to take place in London. Christopher then took his slot, crooning to ‘What a Feeling’. There were no sweat bands, and no leg warmers, so the performance was a complete failure in my book. However, we did get to meet Christopher’s Nan, who is brilliant. When asked if her grandson could win the show she paused for a long time before saying, “What will be will be.” When your own grandmother has lost faith in you, it’s time to give up.

James sang ‘Feeling Good’, and received standing ovations all around. His powerful performance put Christopher’s campy dance number to shame, giving him the edge over the competition.

On Sunday, the boys finally unveiled their winner’s song. Jahmene took on the Beatles classic ‘Let it Be’, which is either a stroke of genius or an act of blasphemy depending on your point of view. His competitor took a different approach by singing ‘Impossible’ by Shontelle. By choosing a less iconic song than Jahmene, James left himself room to put his own spin on things, which was a rare move for a manufactured pop show.

The loose ends were rounded up with a few lame special guests, including Rihanna, who was on the show two weeks ago, and a David Cameron cameo (he obviously doesn’t have anything better to do). Then the winner of the X Factor was revealed, in typically overdramatic style, to be James Arthur. The biggest disappointment for me is knowing that if I’d placed a bet on him to win ten weeks ago, I’d be avoiding revision with money in my pocket rather than the unexplained crumbs I’m left with now. Live and learn.