What to Wear: St Andrews date

I don’t like the word date. Nobody goes on dates except the cast of Made in Chelsea and people who use Match.com. Dates are peep-toe kitten heels, prolonged eye contact and awkward small talk over a white wine spritzer. But then again, there are times in St Andrews when a boy/girl might ask a girl/boy if they want to spend some special alone time together that may or may not lead to some heavy petting. And if that is the case, it’s handy to know what to wear.

The Coffee Date:

This is a bit of a grey area. “Let’s grab a quick coffee from Taste on the way to class’ translates as ‘I’ve done no reading for this tutorial and if we buddy up now, I can sit next to you and read your notes over your shoulder”. But “Would you like to go for coffee sometime? I hear Number 40 makes macchiatos to die for”, is a whole different kettle of fish. So dry shampoo your hair, find a top that doesn’t have last night’s pizza grease down the front, pop a couple of Smints and you’ll have a latte fun.

The Food Date:

Less ambiguous than a coffee date – if someone wants to spend a whole meal with you then it’s almost definitely two thumbs up. But with so many options available, reading the vibe of each establishment is key. Mitchell’s is a good sign – the restaurant’s fish bowl effect means your date is not afraid to be seen with you, which I think is always positive in budding relationships. It’s got the faux-edgy feel nailed, so don an oversized denim shirt, some studded jeans and a hefty ankle boot. For boys, team a chunky knit with some unwashed hair and parkas all round. Avoid plaid shirts or you might be mistaken for a member of staff (or one of their vintage renewal chairs).

Another option that might be presented to you is a late night rendezvous at that reputable and cosmopolitan establishment, Cafe 1413. Don’t be insulted by this. At the time of year where the entire student population migrates to the library, casual flirting over a questionable looking sandwich or eating soup with a spoon that’s as sharp as a razor is the best form of procrastination. It’s scientifically proven everyone looks decidedly worse in the library due to a combination of harsh lighting and a poor diet of coffee and cigarettes, so make sure your clothes do the talking (not literally though – nobody likes a mute). Take the opportunity to work the preppy look, which is not only on trend but will make you appear super intelligent. N.B. If your par amour suggests Bella Italia, then I wouldn’t get your hopes up. They probably just have two for one vouchers and need to make use of your eating abilities/appetite.

Miscellaneous:

The beach date covers a range of possibilities. Best case scenario is your date genuinely wants to spend a romantic afternoon strolling hand in hand down West Sands, in which case the never ending beach is a definite bonus. Worst case scenario, they have no romantic interest in you whatsoever, but just want to go for a ‘chat’ – probably about who they actually fancy, in which case the never ending beach is going to be a real bummer. My advice is dress for the weather. I realise this isn’t exactly a revelation, however, this way you’re covered if everything turns out to be purely platonic; and if love actually is all around, what could be more exciting than imagining what lies underneath all those layers of thermals? Hair and make-up should be low maintenance, as the salt, wind and sand will make short work of any effort you put in there. Instead, experiment with headwear – both mysterious and warm. My mum knits bobble hats and takes requests if anyone’s interested.

The Old Course:

I went to the Old Course once – I think I curtsied to the doorman. Anyway, if this is the destination of your date then you should stop worrying about what to wear and start planning the big day, as you’ve hit the jack pot, my friend, and have a one-way ticket to annoyingly happy coupledom.