The St Andrews pursuit: A female’s response

I’m keen to ask some questions about the recent opinion piece which has been produced by St Andrews’ student journalism. 

But first, just so you know, we female students are in the majority in St Andrews, and quite a few of us will take offence at being labeled mere husband hunters. You should be careful – we have long nails and we often go in for hair pulling. That said, I personally came to St Andrews for a degree and to build my own future. We are at University, a University whose motto reads ‘Ever to Excel’, a motto which I can assure you the “average St Andrews lady” takes far more seriously than any condescending bastardization you created. Maybe instead of learning ‘the chase’, you should learn some respect, or did you walk out on that lecture? I like jokes, but you’re not funny.

Okay, I get it, you’re only an average lad, and I’m really glad you’ve understood that you “can’t beat ’em” (or rather us). That’s called progress, as you make more of it your insecurities will also diminish. You say the St Andrews’ males promiscuity stems from a desire to “retain control”, and that the St Andrews sex scene suffers from the fatal quality of women desiring both to flirt and find men actually worth sleeping with? These sorts of issues can be tough and this is something you and your wolf pack might want to reconsider. But, maybe I can give you a nudge in the right direction: in male-female relationships, control is not something that belongs to the male gender. You want to moan because the girls have started playing you at your own game? It’s called equality. I’m sorry about that.

And I’m sorry you wrote this article. Satire is meant to be constructive – you’re meant to ridicule the stereotypes, not reinforce them. Wit is meant to be funny. Provocation is meant to have insight. Metaphors don’t need signaling. Everything about your article is wrong, but that doesn’t lead me to conclude that everything about you or your gender is wrong. I’m sure you’re a really great guy, it’s only your social conservatism that’s misogynistic and backwards. I know you didn’t really mean it, but unfortunately it does still matter. And if you don’t get that, then you really haven’t understood anything.

I would happily admit to ‘dabbling interest with multiple male parties’, but actually it sounds very time consuming, and I’m pretty busy studying for that degree thingy right now. I do know one thing though – you won’t be making the shortlist for the orgy. Sorry, but my northern enclave is off limits.

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