The St Andrews pursuit: A male’s perspective

Fresh, new and exciting – that’s enough about my favourite fish-dish (no pun intended), but the sexual pursuits in the northern enclave of St Andrews are what I am keen to discuss. First, and most importantly, for the majority of St Andrews gentlemen, the question of “what are the girls like?” is a key feature.

The chase – some guys love it, others hate it, but it is something the St Andrews female relishes. Give a bit then take it back, tempt then withdraw, offer and refuse; all to keep the challenge fresh. There appears to be a common theme; as if the average St Andrews female dabbles interest with multiple male parties. The motto appears to be, “if you can’t have William, maximise the chances of meeting your very own Prince Charming.” The pressure of the unprecedented levels of marital match-making appears to be a dominant concern for the average St Andrews lady.

How does the average lad cope? Well, if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. It seems that St Andrews boys are spreading their interests far afield too. The difficulty is in ascertaining whether this is simply “student life” or a mutual insecurity. Are the boys keeping multiple interests open in order to avoid being hurt and in an effort to retain control? Or, are the females playing the lads at their own game? Or both?

If you’re looking for a bit of wham, bam, thank you ma’am, St Andrews ain’t number one. The chase is where the wheat is separated from the chaff and if you want some crumpet, hold out and persist. In summary, the average male seems to be averse to placing all of his metaphorical eggs in one basket. (Pun intended.)

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