BNOCs, pie and selfish altruism

Don’t kid yourself. You have seen the article. You know what a BNOC is. It is so everywhere that it is no longer socially acceptable to feign aloof ignorance about the infamous four-letter acronym. No doubt much to the contempt of the Botswanan National Olympic Committee, who are slipping into google search oblivion, the big name on campus culture is unashamedly on the rise. BNOCophobia is spreading faster than ash dieback but is it really the BNOC we have to blame?

Grumble and groan all you want, but the inglorious ascent of the BNOC makes total sense. People are inherently interested in people. In Miss Congeniality 2, Joel explains to Gracie that “people like people who like themselves” – if it wasn’t such a terrible film perhaps people would take more heed of his wisdom – Joel is spot on. Friendships are a beautiful diguise for an individual’s quest for personal gain. We want interesting friends in the hope that we might become more interesting.

Let’s call it selfish altruism. The BNOC has perfected selfish altruism. He has worked out which fingers to put in which pies to ensure he never goes hungry in St Andrews and we, understandably, want to watch and learn. There is nothing wrong with what he is doing. He is adapting appropriately to his environment to increase his chances of finding food. This is natural evolution and not a condemnable offense.

To me, what this BNOC competition exposes is the low quality of St Andrews’ pies. That our four nominated BNOCs represent such little diversity is disappointing. There is only one female, no one even approaching ethnic diversity and all of the nominated BNOCs were privately educated. This is not a rant about the BNOC, it’s not his fault; nor is it a dig at privately educated people. My rant is about the environment that chooses these people as their BNOCs.

How is it that at a scottish university the BNOCs are comprised of three english students and one american? At a university where there are more females than males, why are women so under represented? Why is it that less than half of St Andrews students were privately educated yet all of the BNOCs attended private school? Where are our sports stars? The Olypmics have surely taught us that being a jock equals unfathomable glory – not a soggy sandwich match tea at The Rule?

Let us not condemn the electoral demographic who took the time to vote, nor the elected BNOCs for thriving in the environment in which they find themselves. Instead let us blame the pies that allow them to thrive.

The BNOC culture is here to stay, à la Sum 41 you can’t hide it so you might as well embrace it. Our solution must be to diversify our pies. The diversification of our pies will, by natural selection, diversify our BNOCs. A diverse environment is an interesting environment, which in turn yields interesting people, and where there are interesting people we all thrive. Selfish altruism.

So let our BNOCs inspire us. Let our BNOC shortlist be representative of the diverse and talented community of our town. Let us all exert our electoral voice to find these interesting people. Let us all bake more pies and we shall all reap the rewards.

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