TripleF: Freddie Fforde

I loitered outside Greggs at lunch time, too anti-social to go in without my co-interviewer, who was stuck in a queue for Diet Coke. I observed the youth of St […]


I loitered outside Greggs at lunch time, too anti-social to go in without my co-interviewer, who was stuck in a queue for Diet Coke. I observed the youth of St Andrews nourish themselves with crisps and Irn Bru and subsequently wondered what TripleF would be feeding us today… just as the man himself stuck his head out of the window above me and shouted my name to Market Street, with a huge smile on his face that can only be described as ‘lovin’ life’.

We wandered up the stairs discussing the idea of circumventing topics of conversation such as NUS, accommodation and the Students’ Association in favour of one that revolved around favourite colour, food and sex positions, but before we could make a final decision on the order of questions, the door had opened and that same beaming grin greeted us.

As Freddie pootled around the kitchen throwing basil all over the place, we exchanged looks in the living room encouraging each other to ask an intelligent question. 

So… NUS must’ve taken up a lot of time. Fun?

No. *awkward silence; eventually some laughter*

Well, it wasn’t particularly fun but we just had to get it right because everyone was watching, weren’t they? Part of our job is to make something like this accessible and available to students. This was an extra special vote because it didn’t necessarily appeal to everyone – unlike voting for, say, the Sabbs, voting for NUS can seem like it doesn’t actually affect the student population except through discounts. Of course, this is not quite accurate, which is why we made a fact sheet and sent it out to all St Andrews’ student journalists.

At this point, Freddie popped his head around the door with lemons in one hand and a grater in the other, is this what you’re looking for? Just ask me whatever you’re interested in knowing about.

We want to see you in your natural state.

Ah, well, of course, I make pesto from scratch every lunch time... The smile again disappears behind the wall.

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We pause and consider what might be more interesting than going over NUS again…

Sin City; what do you think?

We need to promote events and we need to make money. The more money we have, the more influential we can be – it gives us autonomy. The concept of trying to reinvigorate the Union with fresh events and commercial activities is an important part of this. We have the biggest venue in town and the latest license, and we should be making more of this. Sin City is packed out every Friday; it’s a proper club night.

Again, the grater makes an appearance – this time with parmesan attached, We’ll let the students vote on their feet!

Time for a change of subject – we wanted to get to the juicy stuff: Let’s talk housing.

YEEEAH, love housing.

Accommodation Week, Right to Rent Week – they happen every year; what’s fresh, Fred?

In my election pledges I made no empty promises – I set no specific targets because I didn’t want to assume I could snap my fingers and just make things happen. I have so many executive bodies I need to work with on this issue including the Fife Council, St Andrews Preservation Trust and the University Accommodation Board. Negotiations are key – especially to show that students can work with, not against, local authorities.

Okay, so whatcha got planned?

Our recent survey about student accommodation had just under 1000 responses and virtually a split demographic in terms of replies from each year. Now we know what future halls should look like, now we know that Post-Grads are just as unlikely to want to live outside of town – we now have students’ voices there as part of all discussions. Hang on, I gotta toast my pine nuts.

We take the opportunity to silently laugh at the endless possibilities of a good pun at this point while Freddie’s out of the room. But we need to be professional; we need to ask big questions.

What about DEMON Estate Agents and Landlords? Anything you can do about them?

Actually, I am meeting with a number of St Andrews’ estate agents next month – we want to understand why some of them, in some cases, are making the lives of students difficult. I am also making the encouragement of private investors a priority. We are committed to providing 500 extra beds for students and on top of that, we can have more influence on the St Andrews market if we are involved in private accommodation.

Okay, most important question so far, we have heard that students can re-name the Union cafe as part of the redevelopment. Any great suggestions?

One guy wrote in, quite seriously, that it should be called Kate and Wills.

The excitement in the room is palpable.

Every suggestion is being considered.

Your spaghetti portions are terrible.

Do you mind? I’ve made you pesto.

Time for a photo op. I have a rest from typing and gaze around the living room whilst listening to sounds of instruction coming from the kitchen: Can you smile? While I’m stirring? There is an impressive record player and a ton of vinyl lined up beside me. A huge coffee-table book lies on the other sofa and the place is remarkably clean. Either he has an addiction to the smell of cleaning products or he spends too much time at the office. Yeeeeah, excelleeeeent. Less is more. And that signalled the end of the shoot.

Right, it was time to eat (finally) so we did some blitz questions to ice the cake:

1) 3 fave things about St A

The size, the architecture, the colours. I had this epiphany about what makes St Andrews so attractive. It’s its dower stone, blue sky, low light and the multi-coloured seas and sands. No matter where you are you don’t feel like you’re missing anything.

2)… So you consider yourself a romantic? 10-year plan? Gettin’ married in Sallies’ Chapel any time soon?

Yup, I’m getting married in Sallies’ Chapel and The Stand can have an exclusive. Naaaah, I have no idea what my 10-year plan is and I don’t want to know. I want to keep an open mind.

And now, the piece de resistance; the question we’d all been waiting for.. the secret Secret St Andrews just couldn’t squeeze out of him..

3) If you were an animal, what would you be?

A giraffe? Because they’re awkward and faintly ridiculous.