Made in Chelsea Series 4, Episode 3

Okay, I know, I’m sorry, but WHERE HAS HUGO GONE?! Apparently, by leaving the show his past, present and future have ceased to exist. I find this completely unacceptable. Too, […]


Okay, I know, I’m sorry, but WHERE HAS HUGO GONE?! Apparently, by leaving the show his past, present and future have ceased to exist. I find this completely unacceptable. Too, the lack of reaction or comment from his supposed ‘best friends’, oblivious to the obvious void. I can’t help wonder what would happen if one day he accidentally appeared in one of the frequent ‘scene-setting-shots-of-Chelsea’ montages we all know and love. Would it be accompanied by the slightly-but-not-too-alternative soundtrack of Gotye’s ‘Somebody that I Used to Know’?

The lack of Chelsea was a consequence of the MIC version of ‘Boys-On-Tour: The Daytrip’. Brighton-bound, the majority of the male characters competed in the most seasonally appropriate of all sports—a game of beach volleyball. Incomplete without the obligatory 80s synth and images of the boys diving ‘dramatically’, the activity was a perfect representation of the group’s social dynamics. Spencer and Andy on separate teams (as if the love rivalry was over!), Francis picked last, Jamie personifying exuberance and leaping into the arms of the nearest person…

Millie was present in London, taking her miniature dog everywhere (the juxtaposition with Francis’s massive St Bernard was genius, congratulations to the artistic director) and meeting vampish old friend Sophia as she returned from America. It’s okay though, Sophia has absolutely no interest in Spencer, and is definitely, definitely, not attracted to him. I mean, they had a ‘young fling’, but it’s totally over. Totally.

…Yeah.

Elsewhere, the horrible indecision of Jamie over his love life was painful to watch, if potentially the most genuine and honest part of the programme. Pondering of such questions as ‘If Binky was an ice cream, what ice cream would she be?’ did not undermine the true feelings I believe they have for each other. I live in hope.

I also think we should keep a worried eye on Francis. He’s wearing more Proudlock-style items (unsuccessfully) by the episode and growing interesting facial hair patterns. Did anyone else see him stealing from the Candy Kitchens shop?! Maybe a budding Winona Ryder/Antony Worrall-Thompson complex?

Key piece of Mark-Francis advice for this week? In reference to a roman soldier: “Vermillion miniskirt: that is not a look”. So now we know.