Word from the Burgh: A night out

It’s a cliché, but one of the biggest parts of the ‘university experience’ is the massive alcohol-based shot in the arm your social life gets. Very quickly, money, physical health and 9am lectures are no longer obstacles to a great night out; they are challenges to overcome. We’ve all seen that guy, basking in the glory of a successful all-nighter/early-morning class combo, regaling his friends with his literally hilarious antics.

Okay, okay, this isn’t some vitriolic rant from a disillusioned fourth year about all the kids havin’ it large, far from it. One of the great things about the Burgh is the nightlife. The variety of clubs means you can pretty much choose what kind of night you want to have, and every Edinburgh Fresher quickly learns where and how best to get their sweaty, sambuca-fuelled kicks.

My last two weekends in the Burgh are something of a case study in the polar opposites of the capital’s nightlife. Last Friday involved an expedition to that most famous of student haunts, Why Not?. Situated in the New Town, Why Not? is outwith walking distance, and getting a taxi gives the whole evening a new kind of gravitas: it’s a night out. Such an expedition calls for certain sartorial efforts. Generally, this means a dress and heels for the girls, and if you’re male and between the ages of 18 and 25, I’m pretty sure the law states that you must wear chinos. Entry can be expensive (and by expensive I mean over a fiver #studentlyf), and it’s the kind of place where it’s cheaper to buy a coke if it has vodka in it. Beats-wise, it’s the go-to for chart lovers, but only if it’s of the late-night Radio 1 variety. Let’s be honest: it’s not cool to say you actually like Coldplay, but it’s toootally fine to say you like the Danish dubstep mash-up that they play in Why Not?.

Saturday found me heading to the one place where you’ll definitely hear pure, untainted prime-time pop music: The Hive. This dark and dirty cave just off the Cowgate is where I spent my 18^th birthday, high as a kite on cocktails and cheesy tunes. Unlike its George Street counterpart, The Hive doesn’t cause any money worries and, situated in the heart of UniLand, it is easily within walking distance. Using our already established distance-to-dress-code ratio, we can comfortably say that pretty much anything goes at The Hive. You could rock up in your pyjamas and no one would bat an eyelid. Granted, that’s probably because the drink is so cheap that everyone is too drunk to notice your Spiderman PJs, but still, if you can’t be bothered with the often laborious ‘getting ready’ process, it’s the place for you.

Admittedly, if you’re no longer a Fresher, The Hive becomes something of a guilty pleasure. Do you confess to actively choosing The Hive as your ultimate destination, or do you say that you ‘ended up there’, despite having purposely arrived early to avoid the queues? A real quandary, but one that you don’t have to face up to until the next day, when you’re telling your friends how you literally cannot remember a thing about last night. Oh, except being serenaded with a particularly tragic rendition of Livin’ on a Prayer by a boy with a giant dildo outside the club. That kind of stuff stays with you. 

Photo: ©Inês Cardoso