India Doyle: It’s my birthday and I’ll do what I want to

Last week, my good friend Pamy Pastor* celebrated her birthday. It was a day of celebration like no other. It started with various Facebook events a week before entitled ‘IT’S […]


Last week, my good friend Pamy Pastor* celebrated her birthday. It was a day of celebration like no other. It started with various Facebook events a week before entitled ‘IT’S MY BIRTHDAY’ and culminated in a day-long party with multiple groups of friends arriving at different times, for different parts of the event.

If you know Pamy, you’ll know that all of this was highly endearing and I’m delighted that we were able to pay tribute to St Andrews’ equivalent of Jesus.

However, her excitement about ageing another year did raise the question: is it actually acceptable to be self-indulgent on your birthday when you’re in your twenties?

Most people mark their 21st birthday with some sort of party but after that, shouldn’t we be done? That’s not to say that you shouldn’t acknowledge your birthday, but is it still legitimate to make a big deal about the fact that you’re getting older?

As it turns out, the answer is yes.

After we’ve become ‘grown ups’ there’s less to be excited about. All we have to look forward to is working 9 – 5, paying taxes, taking out the bin, cleaning the bathroom, cooking our own meals, earning our own money… basically looking after ourselves and taking life semi-seriously. And we have to do this, otherwise we won’t survive as legitimate human beings. All our time will be taken up, or is already taken up, with the boring trivial aspects of life and there is minimal emphasis on ‘fun’.

This means that our birthdays should become more and more important as we age. We should relish the opportunity to have an excuse to stand on a table and shout ME (Pamy didn’t do this, but she should have). At no other time in our year can we be self-indulgent and get away with it. Birthdays when you’re older should have the same indulgence factor as the tantrums that you threw when you were a kid, only happier and without the tears. You have to make the most of the fact that in the adult, working world, this is probably the one day where people will go out of their way to pay attention to you.

You may have read that paragraph and thought that it’s weird to demand such excessive attention on your birthday… but that’s the grown-up in you talking. Cut loose grandma: enjoy yourself and the freedom from adult convention that a birthday brings.

Birthdays are also affirmative. Adult life can be lonely, and birthdays are a chance to bring together the people who you love (and hopefully who love you – you can tell from whether they buy you a present or not) to celebrate. When you’re old, there’s less contact with friends and family on a daily/weekly basis. Making a big deal about your birthday means that relatives and friends will come and celebrate with you.

Finally, if you make a big deal about your birthday, people will bake for you (Pamy had literally fifty cakes), and who would miss out on an opportunity for free cake?

I’ll leave you with Jeremih, because if you make a super big deal about your birthday, you might even get some of this….

*Ps have been added to the name to hide her identity.