What to wear: to the Gym

Ah, the Sports Centre. This is the place where being a ‘try-hard’ is a tad less repulsive. But it isn’t clear when hitting the gym became chic. Was it when Mr. Darcy duelled with fencing foils before sexily uttering, “I shall conquer this, I shall”? Or was it when Jane Fonda first debuted a unitard? Regardless, this is the age of trendy athletic apparel and pumped up kicks.

Depending on the time of day, there may or may not be semi-pro-athletes loitering around the entrance to the Sports Centre. These people don’t make it hard to tell what sport they participate in. To fit in with these crowds, one must muss up his or her hair and carry a bag full of questionable athletic contents.

It cannot be denied that the most important fashion accessory in the Sports Centre is the rubber bracelet that is exchanged for your Matric card. Nothing says Gym Rat like a well-used rubber (on your wrist) as you pound paces on the treadmill.

There is a certain robotic element found in the cardio equipment area of the gym that can be accredited to the uniform worn there. The men typically wear loose athletic shorts of the Nike or Under Armour variety coupled with T-shirts, or for those more confident in their biceps, tank tops. For the ladies, this consists of tight black spandex pants, loose, or alternatively tight work out tops worn over the obligatory brightly coloured sports bra.

In fact, an entire article could be dedicated to the vast array of underwear flaunting that one encounters in the Sports Centre. For the gents, there are those with the Calvin briefs and then there are those with a piece of the posh world hugging their lower torso. To the Burberry brief people, I say thank you for forever reminding everyone else that you are superior to us; I am also grateful to the women for reminding us, through the artful display of neon underwear, that boobs exist.

As a general rule, the tighter the garment, the better. This makes looking into mirrors all the more rewarding. I once heard Narcissus preferred his skin-tight, cold gear, Under Armour shirts to any of his other work out tops. It is also necessary to note that the more intense you are, the more armbands or tape you must wear to impress upon everyone around you that you have come to the weight room to seriously pump some iron.

Footwear is perhaps the piece of athletic apparel that is most essential to the work out experience. Whether the trainers are of the Nike, OASICS, or Saucony persuasion, they usually do the job. And for the overachievers among us, the addition of a saucy mid calf sock is never lost on the eye of the beholder. Can you say, bro?

So whether you’re decked out in red, white and blue for the glorious U of St. A or taking the high road in your slacker-chic sweats, there is always a way to reveal your fashion sense with the clothes you sweat in.