Ask Maggie: Home-sick

Dear Maggie, I am feeling rubbish and didn’t know who to speak to. I worked really hard at school to get the marks I needed so that I could come […]


Dear Maggie,

I am feeling rubbish and didn’t know who to speak to. I worked really hard at school to get the marks I needed so that I could come to St. Andrews. It was always St. Andrews I wanted. I have been here four weeks now and I can’t believe it but I feel miserable. Everyone else seems to be having a blast. Why am I the odd one? It must be me. I just want to go home. I miss my Mum and my dog. I wish I had never come.

Amy

 

Dear Amy,

Straight away let me tell you….it’s not you. And it might look as if everyone else is happy and having a great time but I can tell you that lots of other people are feeling just as unhappy as you. Would you believe that one or two people have actually already gone home? So you might want to give yourself a bit more credit for trying to make it work here – you are clearly making an effort! There are lots of things you can do to help yourself and hopefully build a life you want here.   

Think about what you have enjoyed in the past. Was it sport, music, acting, knitting? There are so many clubs and societies available if you can get yourself along to some of them then enjoyment will come –  just give it a bit more time. Have a look at the Union website: over 140 Societies to choose from so I am sure there will be something that appeals to you. Going along for the first time can be daunting but I am sure most Societies would welcome a new face.

If you are in Hall, do speak to the Warden and get them to introduce you to the Hall’s Senior Student and members of the Committee. It may be that you can contribute to hall life, and by helping others you may get to feel more of a sense of belonging.

And I would also recommend that you come in to Student Services – talking it through can be so much better in person than going over it all in your head. The ASC, where you can go for any question, is the front door of Student Services (and everything else too!) and they can arrange for you to meet an Adviser. 

I am not surprised you miss your Mum – I expect she misses you too. But it won’t be that long until you see her again – even if it is on skype. As for your dog, well I am sure there are dogs in St. Andrews that need a walk – not the same as walking your own, of course, but maybe the next best thing? Amy, I think things will get better for you and, who knows, one day in the future, you will be sad because you are leaving St. Andrews. 

I can’t tell you when you will start to feel better but if you try some of these things, I am positive it will make a difference.  

Some advice from students in 2nd – 4th year:

“Make sure you give everything a chance, accept every invitation and stay at least half an hour.”

“Make the first move, don’t be scared to introduce yourself to new people; they probably feel very simiarly to you!”

If you have a problem you would like Maggie to help you solve through this column, write to her!

 

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