The Ballad of Lance Armstrong

There are many phrases that may come to mind when I think of Lance Armstrong: ‘bikes’; ‘athlete’; ‘Sheryl Crow’; ‘testicular cancer’; ‘Tour de France’…you get the point. The word ‘doping’ […]


There are many phrases that may come to mind when I think of Lance Armstrong: ‘bikes’; ‘athlete’; ‘Sheryl Crow’; ‘testicular cancer’; ‘Tour de France’…you get the point. The word ‘doping’ is not one of them, and yet surprisingly enough, he’s been accused of it several times over the last decade – despite never failing a drug test.

As much of a shock it was to hear that the cyclist had doping charges being brought against him, it was even more strange to hear that Lance suddenly decided to give up the fight against these charges back in August; very strange indeed. Lance Armstrong, who has not only battled cancer but won the Tour de France – a 3,500km race – seven times – quitting? Hell might have just frozen over, or Lance is guilty.

The United States Anti-Doping Agency, otherwise known as the USADA, has not only given Lance a lifetime ban, but they have also stripped him of his seven Tour de France wins. There’s still a great debate occurring between the USADA and the International Cycling Union (UCI). The UCI must make the decision whether to ratify the sanction against Lance on October 15th, which is less than two weeks away. When the charges were originally brought up, Lance had sued the USADA and was backed by the UCI. At the time, there was zero physical evidence to support the claims, and to this date the USADA has been gathering evidence. They’re cutting it close to the deadline, which raises some questions about the validity of the charges.

Lance, since taking the decision to leave the doping charges unchallenged, has decided to go back to what he was doing before he ever won a Tour de France title: helping people and families affected by cancer, presumably through the Lance Armstrong/LIVESTRONG foundation.

I get it, we all get it. Doping is bad. Steroids are a no-no unless a doctor gives them to you or you’re Arnold Schwarzenegger. The bottom line is, if Lance is guilty, so be it. And if not? I think it’d be fair to say that he deserves for the charges to be dropped, and a hell of a lot of ass-kissing from the USADA. And maybe his second testicle back.