Madame Debout: anxiety and adjustment

Dear Madame Debout… I’m sharing a flat with two boys. They’re very tidy and considerate. Should I be worried? Yes. Take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror […]


Dear Madame Debout…

I’m sharing a flat with two boys. They’re very tidy and considerate. Should I be worried?

Yes. Take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror and ask, ‘why do I think they are tidy and considerate?’ The likelihood is, you’re dirty and selfish.

 

Dear Madame,

I’m a fourth-year and have a student loan.. I’m worried that when I graduate I’ll have a mountain of debt. What should I do? 

Really, you shouldn’t worry; the economy is shot, the government has been printing money like wallpaper and by the time you graduate inflation will have made your loan meaningless. If you don’t understand, find an economics student who does.

 

Dearest Madame Debout,

I made quite a mess of my fresher’s week. I seem to have spent all my money on messy bombs and all the friends I have made keep looking at me in a strange way. How do I find out what happened?

It’s pretty obvious what happened.  Keep that selective memory; it’ll serve you well.

 

Dear Madame Debout,

I’ve just started 3rd year and am yet to do any work. Why can’t I summon any motivation?? Why do my tutors think I can work independently?!? How much do I have to read??

For God’s sake, man, pull yourself together. Go home, open a book and stop thinking about it. You have two years to get yourself a degree that might see you employed at the end of it (though, in the current climate it’s unlikely so you may as well get drunk and spend all your time on facebook).

If you’d like the advice of Madame Debout, please write to [email protected]