Happier with homegrown

Despite the illegalities, the smoking and procurement of drugs goes on in St Andrews. Whether it’s yahs doing lines in loos or hipsters puff, puff, passing at a house party, it happens. If Barack Obama smoked a joint in his youth, I’m sure our Principal and our Rector have, at one point or another, dabbled. I have never bought weed, cocaine, heroine, meth, X, powdery unicorn dust, shminkled candy balm, or humbahgrom from anyone, but for those of you that do, or have, it’s important to know where your lazer faeries comes from.

In 2003 the export of Opium from Afghanistan was 5000 metric tons. Most of it went on to follow the ‘Northern Route’, as opposed to the Southern one that the hobbits took to Mordor, up through the Central Asian countries, and into Russia and Europe. Doubtless some of it crossed the English Channel and found itself a home in someone’s orifice here in the Bubble. For those of you who are not American and taking the various terrorist studies modules that the International Relations department offers, allow me to let you in on what happens at the opium and marijuana ground zero.

Various terrorist groups control large swathes of land, their authority backed by armed force. On this land, organized criminal groups hire or enslave people to grow the various plants that create many of your so loved highs. From there they traffic them, again, numerous orifices, on the Northern Route, lining various pockets on their way up to here where they are eventually sold; both seeds to growers and drugs to users. The money made from these deals goes back down the route where a percentage of it is given to the land-managers. The terrorist groups then use it for legitimate pursuits like importing cuban cigars, distributing pamphlets, throwing bops, crashing planes into tall buildings, continuing civil wars, buying helicopters and, until recently, funding Osama Bin Laden’s ‘chillzone’ in Pakistan.

For all you non-economics students allow me to explain the principles of supply and demand. Demand = Supply. Congratulations, many of you are funding terrorists. Not the cute South American freedom fighting ones, but ones with serious psychological problems who certainly do not view the Earth, animals, or the human race in a rational way.

What’s more, many supporters of the drug trade are adding to the large quantities of carbon emissions already released into the atmosphere. Not only is the cannabis being smoked, but it travels thousands of miles to get rolled up in your Rizla that you had to buy with loose leaf so as not to embarrass yourself in front of the attendant at the Shell Garage/Tesco/Morrisons/Spar. That’s not very environmentally friendly.

Now feel free to smoke/snort/huff/inject/ as much as you want. But the next time you’re out on Lade Braes/behind the Union/outside of Empire/in the 40s with your friends, ask them if they know where their ‘stuff’ is coming from. If you deal, ask your supplier if they grow local, and if they don’t, where do they obtain their seeds/plants/kit. They are probably unknowingly funding groups that assume violence is the only means of power.

I’m for the legalisation of drugs as much as the Dutch government was before May, but in the spirit of saving the present eco-systems of the planet and stopping violence, research where your nambity namb comes from and buy local. No one likes unnecessary violence, especially not potheads.

Photo: © bbc.co.uk