Adderall: a stream of consciousness

This article is about one person’s experience on Adderall for a day (written while the author was still on Adderall).  NB: The author of this article does have a legal prescription for Adderall.

8am. 8 in the morning. Haven’t seen the day at this hour since, well, last exam time. Even then, to be honest, was more of a 5 minute preview while wrestling with the “snooze” button on my blackberry. Today’s the day! This time I’ll study from 8am to 8pm every single day. This time I’m not alone. This time I have ADDERALL.

Insert blue pill into mouth, wash down with last night’s diet coke…it’s flat…ew, IT’S FLAT. It’s fine. Swallow. Turn on computer. Facebook. I’m bored. Wash face, brush teeth, dress. Wait, no this isn’t what I want to wear, I don’t look studious, WHY DON’T I HAVE ANY STUDIOUS CLOTHES? Back to computer. Net-a-Porter. Oh my God need those. And these. Who makes THOSE?! Wikipedia. You know what this reminds me of? This Wikipedia article? TECHNOMUSIC. Youtube.com. Wow, incredible. Turn up speakers. Dance, change into short dress and heels. Dance in front of mirror.

Wait, shit. This isn’t what studious people do. No, no, definitely not. WHY AREN’T THE DRUGS WORKING?! Insert one more blue pill, swallow with water from the tap. WOW, I need more shower accessories. Loofah? Scented candles? Water proof speakers? Whatever. These totally look like library heels anyway, leaving the house.

Skip to library, wow this town is so beautiful. How may bricks do you think make up that wall? HOW MANY? Shhh don’t answer that it’s fine I’ll count them. 1……2…..3….4…5..6.7.8.9.1011121314, DIARY, I need a new diary. WHSmith. 50 pounds?!?! I’ll take it. It’s perfect. God, how does anyone study without a planner. I LOVE planners. I need to write in it right now. God, my handwriting looks great. Is this lead thickness ok or maybe I need to go thinner? Whatever. Wait, pencil in: buy better pencils. Wow. Unreal.

Arrive at library. Freezing, it’s so freezing. Are we in the Arctic? CIGARETTE. “Oh my God can I have a cigarette?…No, no we’ve never met but I LOVE you wow, can I have a cigarette?…you know I always give away cigarettes, did you know that? No I guess not cause we don’t know each other but seriously I do you’re great, holy shit have you seen these diaries they sell at WHSmith? Life. Changing”. Wait, BOYS!!!!!!!!!!!! Must follow them.

Enter library, SHIT where are the new pencils? I can’t work without them, I can’t do it. If I start with the old ones then all my notes from now until forever will need to be with the old ones. That’s stupid to write with all different pencils, so unprofessional. Ugly, really horrible. There was this one time in high school, oh my god, yeah in high school, this one time, someone gave me a green pen this one time. ALL my notes from then on were in the green pen, ALL of them. Can you imagine? Do you know how good that looked? Fucking unbelievable. So nice, you can’t even picture how nice the notes looked. WAIT Facebook.

I wonder which pictures I untagged when I was younger, how funny to see if they were actually really ugly or I just thought they were then? Click, click, click, next picture, next picture. Holy shit I’m back at the beginning already? I should get more pictures, need more pictures. Oh I need a camera. Imagine how many pictures I’d have then? Ebay.com. wait no fuck this there’s no buy it now option? I don’t want to wait no way, maybe I can email them? No whatever. Bye. Shit, study ok study.

6pm? Really? How is it 6pm right now? Whatever, study study. People who study a lot totally stay up late anyway. It’s fine.

STUDY. Ok this desk is perfect. Wait, is it? Is this desk ok? Wait I look cute, must sit in sight line of cute boys. Or it’s a waste. Get up, find new desk.

Still.

Looking. Wait, cigarette. Ok, yea, cigarette. Facebook status update: HELLOOOO ANYONE IN LIBRARY WITH CIGARETTE? Post. This one strand of hair if I stroke it continuously 200-250 times gets so soft it’s unreal. I didn’t know people could have hair this soft. Wait I bet there are some people with hair that’s renowned for being so soft. I’m sure. Wikipedia. Really? 15 articles on soft hair already? I need to tell someone about this it’s really so interesting the cuticle and everything on the strands on each individual strand of hair. You know what I mean? Do you want to talk about it I know all about it maybe I should read more about it first? 10 more articles. Outside. Smoke. Smoke another. Head rush. Whatever one more cigarette. I need to go home. I need to go home right now there’s this book I left at home that I absolutely need to read right now, this book on like economics or something. It’s supposed to be cool I need to read it now. Walk home. Get book. Read. Read. Read. Read. This is the best thing I’ve ever read in my life. This is so good. What I’m almost done? No it can’t be I wish I had another book just like it that went on forever.

I’m so thirsty. SOOO thirsty. Drink water. More water, more. What did I do today? I got a planner, yea ok fine. I really need to get those pencils. I am so tired. SOOO tired. Legs shake when walking. This isn’t nice. Oh no need to lay down. So tired. Pyjamas on. In bed. Eyes so tired must sleep. Keep counting cracks on ceiling. Variations in wood color on dresser. Look at watch. 4AM!?!?!?! It’s FOUR IN THE MORNING?!?!?!? PLEASE JUST LET ME FALL ASLEEEEEEP.