Get the Look: Hipster

Do you wish this article was on tumblr? Do you eat solely with a pitchfork? Are your skinny jeans suppressing any chance you have of procreating? Is the fact this isn’t written in Helvetica offending your eyes and your sensibilities? I would say ‘you don’t need my guidance’ but, let’s be honest, if you’re reading this article, you’re already a lost cause. This is satire, irony, self-expression, ANGST. Not that you would understand such things; you’re so painfully mainstream. 

Get the Look:

For this look, several basics need to be purchased. Normally we wouldn’t endorse such consumerism, but those black framed glasses and lettered t-shirts aren’t going to buy themselves. We would recommend Specsavers’ “Jennifer” glasses, £85. They have the perfect anti-fashion, misunderstood edge. 

Your next port of call is the Urban Outfitters online store. Unfortunately, it also stocks clothing for the ‘fashionable’ of society… but before you get your boy-shorts in a twist, have a little faith. Your hipster sense of navigation will allow you to brave the storms of popular culture, battling with the search options and body-con dresses until your boat of individualism arrives safely on dry land. And, of course, after such a feat you will be the proud owner of several v-neck t-shirts and an over-sized vintage-esque-inspired jumper that screams alternative.

The next step is to roam South Street’s charity shops in the search of key missing items. Aim to find such items as denim shirts, assorted scarfs, and self-respect. Some may be more forthcoming than others.

Androgyny is key; androgyny is sexy. Any indication of gender is not. Do with this advice what you will. 

Your self-expression and individuality is more important than anyone else’s, so ensure your fellow students will never forget it. Go to the Union’s used vinyl and CD sales to find accessories for your look. Create a necklace of your favourite obscure vinyls to wear to lectures and tutorials. The weight around your neck is a small price to pay for the pleasure of belittling those less cultured than yourself. 

A slide of red lipstick across your lips , your glasses to validate your avant-garde status, Doc Martins on your feet, your practised triangle photo pose at the ready, and you’re ready to cycle your Fixie down Market Street. Well done for pushing social boundaries! 

Work the Look:

Ensure you bring your Macbook and lack of social conformity to the window seats in ‘Taste’. You probably haven’t heard of it. Along with fair-trade coffee beans and soy lattes, you will find a collective group that understands you. They will happily watch your latest nouveau independent foreign short film with undertones of social critique and empathise with your feelings of inadequacy. Well, until it becomes some kind of trend. Not that anyone could ever compromise your originality. Please.