The Apprentice: Week Five

Grab the spandex; it’s time to get physical! CAUTION! CONTAINS SPOILERS.

Setting the Scene

The holiday period is over for the candidates when they’re woken up by an early phone call instructing them to be ready to leave for York Hall. “What’s York Hall Tom?” Ricky asks. “Err maybe it’s a call centre, ya know, like your call?” Oh Tom, proving that it’s never too early for a bad joke, especially on this show.  Maybe if he gets fired he can head on over to the next series of Britain’s Got Talent?  It turns that York Hall is actually an old East End gym that’s been keeping Cockneys fit for nearly a hundred years. It also turns out that for the first time this series, the location of Lord Sugar’s announcement is actually relevant to the task which this week is to devise a new faddy fitness class to license to gyms. Whoever makes the most money from licensing wins.

The Task

Finally the week we’ve all been waiting for: Ricky Martin becomes PM for Sterling! Well, ok, maybe it’s just me.  He’s the heavyweight champion of the fitness world and he’s about to become the heavyweight champion of the business world. You always witness the fitness when Ricky Martin is around, which is really convenient because his nickname is actually “The Fitness”.  And he was awarded a star on the Hollywood Walk of fame in 2007! The team decide to create a MMA/dance workout class, giving Ricky the chance to demonstrate some of his loca moves in the ring.

Over at Phoenix, Stephen takes on the role of PM. He isn’t a part-time pro-wrestler or a Latino superstar but he does work in fitness. After dismissing a couple of ideas such as a speed-dating fitness class (really Katie?), they opt  for a unique eighties-themed workout class. Stephen, Adam and Azhar conduct some “research” with the lovely ladies of an eighties dance troupe. As a result, they decide it’s a really good idea to use props in their class and pick up an assortment of space hoppers, hula hoops and skipping ropes. Stingy Tom is the only one to point out that most gyms wouldn’t be interested in having to buy or store extra props when they already have so much equipment. Don’t you realise this is the eighties Tom? It’s all about excess!

Excess is definitely the quality they take with them to Day Two and the filming of the video. Sharp-as-ever Nick Hewitt who is monitoring Sterling wisely comments that every time there is any sort of filming to be done in a task it always ends up in a squabble. This year is no exception.  Jane is supposed to be the creative one on Phoenix but Adam believes all she does is create problems. He’s not sure if she’s just thick or deaf or what?  So, for the greater good, he takes on the role of choreographer while Azhar takes the limelight and leads the workout on camera in a teeny tiny pair of red hot pants- not for the greater good. At Sterling, sparks fly when Duane comes over all Stanley Kubrick, not listening to anyone else’s ideas on the direction of the video. Even in the car on the way home, exasperated Nick Holzherr has to plead with him and a bickering Laura to let’s just all be friends.

Both PMs pitch on behalf of their teams to three major gym outlets. They both do pretty well, although, obviously, Ricky Martin does the best. Natch. When it comes down to the product itself Fitness First and Pure Gym both hated Phoenix’s crazy retro idea and put their stock into Sterling’s Beat Battle. However, in a shock twist of events, as is increasingly becoming the norm in this series, Virgin, the final gym, weren’t ready to “witness the fitness” and  offered Phoenix’s Groove Train a ridiculously generous national licensing deal worth nearly thirteen grand! Poor Sterling lagged behind with £7970.

The Boardroom

It’s clear this team did not expect to be here, rightly so. However, it also means they’ve got no idea what they did wrong. Instead of working it out, they just wait to see what Lord Sugar thinks and jump on that bandwagon. Firstly, the moves themselves are questioned so immediately everyone turns on Laura. She doesn’t like that much so she diverts the blame back to Duane and the video. It doesn’t work too well though because she finds herself coming back along with Duane and Ricky for the last round.

Who was Fired?

Lord Sugar believed the failure of this task was due to the video and so the clapper board was snapped shut on Duane.

The Verdict

Out of the three that were there, Duane was the most logical choice to go but it’s clear The Sug felt that there were others more deserving of his place. Bottom line- there is no way this team should even have lost the task. The sight of Azhar in those hot pants was enough of a health warning to cause a heart attack. Not a good start to their fitness class. Good luck Virgin!