A Change of Scene

Guess where I’ve been seen this week? (I‘m sorry, it won‘t be the last, you have been warned). That’s right, I paid a visit to the Bell Street baristas for a much-needed refuel, and for a place to sit while I wrote a grovelling apology in the Mother’s Day card I’ve yet to send.

I went for the £5 lunch deal: salad/sandwich, crisps/fruit and a hot/cold drink. Wow! Oh, except ‘we don’t actually sell salads’. No problem, I don’t actually buy salads, but I do have one or two friends who genuinely enjoy lettuce, who might get upset by this false advertising (admittedly one of them is called Flopsy and lives in my garden…) Shame on you, Beanscene! Anyway, not being a crisp fan, I decided instead to be super-virtuous and try out this ‘fruit’ malarkey my doctor recommended during our last defibrillator session. I need not review the fruit, you know what an apple tastes like, don’t you? Unless you receive your food by enema, in which case solids probably aren’t your thing anyway.

Two minutes later, along came Americano, complete with a little jug of milk. How thoughtful! I don’t like white coffee, but milk is a luxury, so I relished chugging it down as a warm-up to my toasted tuna baguette.

The tuna was tasty, creamy and I was delighted that they hadn’t gone all gung-ho on the mayo, which seems to splurge out of any sandwich I buy. I don’t know if you’ve ever tried to explain mayonnaise stains on your trousers? You can’t. Just enough rocket to keep things zingy, all wrapped up in a crispy wholemeal baguette. Yummy yum yum! I slipped a bit into mum’s envelope to keep her sweet, and turned my attention to a mammoth mug.

Having lied over 20 times today (“Excuse me, have you voted?”, “Yes”), it‘s time to be brutally honest. The coffee was WEAK. I realise lava java isn’t everyone’s cup of tea (ba-da boom!) but I expected better from a place called ‘Beanscene’. Frankly, I would’ve liked to have seen a bit more bean.

Nevertheless, I would’ve happily spent the rest of my afternoon there. Quick service, laid back atmosphere, and, of course, free milk! Sticking it to Thatcher, Beanscene, you get my vote!