Mimi’s charitable advice

The Top Five Things You Shouldn’t Buy in a Charity Shop*

 

 *Disclaimer: Charity is good. Mimi von Schack loves charity.

 

1. A Plaid Shirt

If you’re in a charity shop to begin with, it’s a safe bet you probably own enough already.

 

2. Medical Supplies

The drive to the clinic isn’t as long as you think it is. And I don’t care how steady your friend says his hands are.

 

3. Anything With Unidentifiable Stains.

Specific colors to avoid include (but are not limited to): dark brown, dark dark brown, dark red, yellow, dark yellow…

 

4. Worn-Down Cutlery

Think. Of. All. The. Mouths.

 

5. Bathing Suits

One of the few areas in life where a little spending can’t hurt, people.

 

 

 

Top Five Things You Should Buy in a Charity Shop

 

1. Animal Figurines

You can literally NEVER have enough small replicas of meerkats. I actually dare you to try.

 

2. Old Records

We all know you don’t have a record player, but we appreciate your maverick choice to own one anyways. A vintage record in your bedroom says to others ‘hey I might write a poem about you. or not. because clearly I do what I want anyways.’

 

3. Dresses/Suits for Balls

If you’re going to shell out seventy quid on a charity ball, you might as well make a whole thing of it, right? Also, you can be that pretentious son of a gun who says ‘oh, it’s actually vintage’ all night. People LOVE that.

 

4. Kid’s Toys

I own a remote-controlled dinosaur named Julien thanks to Cancer Research UK on South Street. Point made.

 

5. Anything Because It’s For Charity, You Dirty Cheapskate You.

 

 

Written by Mimi von Schack, understand writer