‘I went in for a kiss, got patted on the back’: Southampton’s worst Valentine’s dates

These are enough to make you want to stay single forever

You either love it or you hate it, but there’s no escaping Valentine’s Day. If you’re lucky enough to have bagged yourself a date during lockdown, there’s a lot of prep work that goes into it. That’s why when Valentine’s Day doesn’t quite go to plan, it can taint the occasion permanently.

We asked over on the Soton Tab Instagram for your worst Valentine’s Day dates and you didn’t disappoint.

Here are some of the worst Valentine’s Day dates Soton students have had:

‘I broke up with the guy I was seeing on Valentine’s Day and we still went to dinner afterwards’

That sounds like an all round painful experience – being dumped on Valentine’s AND having to sit through a dinner. I’m guessing you didn’t share dessert.

‘I found out they were only trying to sleep with me for a bet’

I hope the only bit of action they got that night was a drink thrown over them?

‘I took my date for a picnic in the park, they got hit in the face with a football and then swiftly left’

Do you think it was the football to the face or the date that made them leave??

‘I went in for a kiss, and got patted on the back instead’

The single most dreaded conclusion to a date? Being pied. Extra sad points because it was also on Valentine’s Day.

‘My date said he wasn’t hungry and then ended up eating most of my meal’

One student told us: “I was bored with my date but I was hungry, so I said I was going to go home and get a takeaway.

“He then offered to go out for a curry instead, but insisted he wasn’t hungry. When my food came, they set it down, and my date proceeded to tip the majority of the food content onto his plate. I let him pay.”

In the words of Smithy: “It’s my Bhuna. If you want a Bhuna, order a Bhuna. That’s why I ordered two Bhunas!”

‘We put our mate in the boot of my car and ended up at Jesters playing poker at 2pm’

They were also late to dinner with their boyfriend. But, when it comes to Jesters vs boyfriend, the answer is Jesters. Every time.

‘I’m single in a pandemic, so obviously this year’

We had quite a few responses like this one but after reading this article, this might be the best date of all.

So slap a facemask and your fluffy PJs on, stick on a rom-com and order a pizza (or a chicken bhuna, lamb bhuna, prawn bhuna, mushroom rice, bag of chips, keema naan and 9 popadoms).

Related articles recommended by this writer:

Being single on Valentine’s Day is actually the best and here’s why

11 ways Soton students are spending their Valentine’s Day in lockdown

Valentine’s Day is the worst holiday of the year and here’s every single reason why