18 reasons why you’re a single Soton student this Valentine’s Day

Number one: You sit on level five of Hartley

Valentine’s Day is one of those holidays that you either can’t wait to come around or hate with a burning passion. Even if that depends on whether you are in a relationship or single, it is the only time of the year where you obsess over your love life more than usual.

Whilst you may wish you were enjoying dinner in a fancy restaurant in Ocean Village or receiving a bouquet of flowers from Portswood Sainsbury’s, we’re in a pandemic and you’re single.

So if you’re a Southampton student who’s single during this time of the year, the following reasons are probably why:

1. You spend most days on Level 5 of Hartley

The only thing that makes your heart beat fast and your palms sweaty is your degree.

2. You own a light-up keyboard

And no one will ever be able to light up your life better than it does.

3. You are holding a fish on your first picture on Tinder

Guys with puppies, well played but, you are on thin ice.

4. You invest in stocks more than you invest in your love life

Stocks would never break up with you just before the holidays, stocks are forever (kind of).

5. You believe in horoscopes

And we both know you have been asking boys about their birth charts way too early on.

6. You study Engineering or Computer Science at Soton

You’re alone purely because of the male-to-female ratio. I promise.

7. You used to be able to pull only at Sobar

Now that Sobar is closed, you’re really struggling. Hopefully, it can reopen soon so you can chat someone up over a blue Quad Vod.

8. You are still suffering from your pandemic related break-up

You’ve been constantly replaying Olivia Rodrigo’s Drivers License but even that could not heal that hurt just in time for Valentine’s.

9. You are not friends with Tariq Manzil on Facebook

If you don’t have the approval of this man, do you really have anything to offer to your Valentine?

10. You always keep your camera off during Microsoft Teams lectures

How else are you supposed to make the hot classmate you’ve had a crush on since first year fall in love with you?

11.You have a top fans badge on Crushampton

Sometimes not all publicity is good publicity.

12. You choose Chic-O-Land over Charcoal Grill

The ultimate mistake – Charcoal Grill is clearly better

13. You only know how to cook pasta

Lockdown has made chefs out of all of us, you need to get on TikTok and try a viral recipe at least.

14. You don’t put enough effort into your outfit for your big Portswood Sainsbury’s trip

How else are people supposed to know you are the main character of your coming of age rom-com?

15. You had the Oceana committee card

And now, without the superiority complex of being in the VIP section every week, your confidence has really taken a dive.

16. You listen to BTS

And irrevocably, your standards are way too high for Southampton Uni students.

17. You have simply decided to socially distance from Valentine’s Day

All jokes aside, one can just *choose* to be alone on this day.

18. And lastly, Coronavirus is still around

Zoom call with everyone so we can cry together?

Related articles recommended by this writer:

Valentine’s Day is the worst holiday of the year and here’s every single reason why

‘I went in for a kiss, got patted on the back’: Southampton’s worst Valentine’s dates

Quiz: What should your first Soton night be post-Covid?