22 things every basic girl at Soton is guilty of
Girls just wanna have fun x
When we released the "four types of girl" article it became clear that many of you related to the "jeans and a nice top" girl, proving that, like it or not, the majority of Soton students are hella basic.
You might be fairly confident that you are the edgy mate, and that this doesn't apply to you. In reality, you'll be quite horrified to find that you are also guilty of the very things that you mock your "basic bitch" mates for doing.
People make out like being "basic" is an insult, when really we're just living our best lives. We are all a bit basic deep down and I urge you all to embrace this. With this in mind, I've put together an extensive list of everything that make us so basic.
She goes to “Ocies" Wednesdays ofc
Oceana is her favourite club because it reminds her so much of the Pryzm or Atik she’s been going to since she turned 18.
She will invariably call it by its cringey nickname "Ocies", and you’ll see her screaming her head off to the same tunes in the cheese room every Wednesday. Or perhaps you’ll spot her bopping to the one R'n'B song she knows in the Curve room, in a vain effort to show she can be cool.
She loves disco
You'll catch her at every "disco", ABBA, seventies or eighties themed night out in the same flares and 'groovy' top, which she recycles for every event cos she thinks it makes her look edgy.
“I just love you guys sooooo much”
You’ve known the girl three days and she’s already telling you that you’re her bestie and that you’re going to be the Godmother to her children. Take this with a pinch of salt – she’s promised a lot of people the same.
She posts EXTREMELY long Snapchat stories
We get it, they played "Cotton-Eyed Joe" in the cheese room. We don’t need to see a three-part Snapchat video documenting the whole thing.
She has a shit tapestry up in her room
This will be alongside a "vintage" map poster, Primark bedding and loads of cute pics of her mates.
Trago brunches are her fave
The basic Soton girl LIVES in Trago lounge, and will post a picture of her eggs benedict on her Insta story every weekend.
Also, if she lives in the Polygon, you’ll be seeing pictures of her rose petal lattes in Halladay’s Tearooms at least once a week.
"OMG I LOVE YOUR OUTFIT BABE"
One of the best qualities about the basic Soton girl is that she is full of compliments for randomers in the girl’s bathroom. If she thinks your eye shadow is ‘on fleek’ or she loves your Pretty Little Thing flares, best believe she will let you know about it – whether you’re chundering in the Jester’s toilets or in the middle of ordering a chicken wrap in Chick-o-land.
She will also probably add you on Snapchat, and the two of you will spend the rest of your Uni careers weirdly watching each other’s lives unfold.
She chunders one hell of a lot
She’s the girl who cuts the toilet queue in Sobar while three of her mates hold her hair back and help her chunder into the sink. This won’t stop her doing the same next week, though.
Jamie jeans and PLT tops are her go-to night out wear
You’ll never see her out without her trusted Jamie jeans, paired with a different coloured crop top or body suit from Pretty Little Thing/Boohoo/Missguided (delete as appropriate).
She loves glitter
She owns an unhealthy amount of glitter and will bang it out at every opportunity. You only have to suggest a glitter themed night to her and it will be all over her face within seconds.
She sits on level one in Hartley
Her trips to the library are basically just an excuse to socialise with the hundreds of random friends she bumps into in there. She’ll pack herself some nice pasta and bring her stylish coffee flask in preparation for a long study session, when in reality she’ll spend the entire time getting coffee refills and checking Crushampton to see if anyone has picked up on her carefully put together "library chic" outfit.
"Shall we go for cocktails?"
The basic Soton girl is always insisting on a "girly" night at Turtle Bay or Revolution. It's an excuse to actually wear heels for once and post a boomerang of everyone holding up their fancy drinks.
She fiercely defends Jesters
The cheesy music, the Jesticles, the fact that it provides her with a use for her old converses, she just bloody LOVES it and would go every night if she could. Tell her you hate Jesters and get ready for an impassioned speech about how it might be the worst club in the UK but it’s actually the "BEST PLACE EVERRRRRR".
She takes her top off to Baywatch
Well, she threatens to, until her mates jump in to stop her removing her fave Boohoo crop top. She’ll grumble that they’re ruining her fun but she’ll probs thank them in the morning.
She's very demanding about her food on a night out
She's all sweetness and light normally, but after a heavy night of drinking she turns into a petulant child, demanding her cheesy chips and chicken nuggets. If she doesn't get her desired cuisine, watch out – she will fight you, or at the very least whine about it all the way home.
She always insists on using the Two-bicle
For most of us, after you’ve pissed next to your mate a couple of times, the novelty wears off. But not the basic Soton girl, who will insist on using the twobicle and taking ‘cute’ selfies with her ‘bestie’ every time.
She has at least one photo on her Instagram in front of some streamers at a house party
Did you even go to a house party if you didn't take pictures in front of a badly decorated wall?
She hates drum and bass
What’s the point in a song if there’s no words to sing along to? She might be able to bare the odd Macky Gee song, but she will not be caught dead at a Switch event – unless, of course, it’s Bongo’s Bingo or ABBA Disco wonderland, which she goes wild for.
“OMG I was soooo wasted last night”
She got a little bit tipsy in Jesters, made some stupid decisions and will definitely talk about it for the next month.
She drinks cheap Sainsbury's vodka at pres
Or sometimes she'll enjoy the odd gin. Quite frankly, she'd rather be drinking Prosecco, but the student budget won't allow it.
She has a special 'pres' cup
It's essentially just a plastic cup with a built in straw, but it appears in all her pre drink photos cos she thinks it's funky.
She loses her dignity every week at Stag’s Karaoke
Two drinks down and she’s up on stage, belting out Destiny’s Child, TLC or Britney Spears. She’ll think she’s Beyoncé, when in reality she sounds more like The Pogues.