Nine ways to avoid people in Southampton Uni

A guide to an awkward-free life


Southampton itself is a decently sized city, with a student population of 25,000 and a total population of around 250,000, you would think it's pretty easy to blend in.

That is, until you have a reason to avoid someone. Whether it's your ex, a one night stand, someone you were bffs with in freshers or someone who just can't take a hint. When something like this happens, you suddenly see this person everywhere you go, when before you never saw them at all.

So here's a list of places around uni and the solution to avoid that special person.

Hartley library

Literally everyone goes here, it becomes a sort of watering hole for Soton students. Don't even think about using levels one and two or the cafe, and definitely don't sit out on the grass in the summer, unless you want to take the risk.

Top tip: A bit drastic, but try using the 4th and 5th floors as only the super serious people venture up there, and so it's unlikely you'll be spotted. Also you could get to the library early to reserve a pod, and if you want to go the extra (but tragic) mile, drape a scarf across the entrance to hide yourself.

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Just walk on by pls

Ocies Wednesdays

Always a good night, but can also be a nightmare because every man and his dog will be there. Many a sloppy pull has been found on the sweaty cheese room floor, but that's also probably where they'll find you again a week later.

Top tip: Make use of the fact Oceana becomes a maze when you're drunk, and in case of emergency…run. There are three rooms, multiple corridors and toilets, let alone the smokers section, so plenty of places to hide. If you're looking to avoid people, don't even think about entering the cheese room.

House parties on their street or pres at their halls

If the person you're avoiding lives on a big boy street like Gordon, Alma, Livingstone, Kitchener or Tennyson you are a little bit screwed. Similarly, if they live in your halls or at the halls with the best pres, this is going to be a bit of a task.

Top tip: Get wavy af and ride it out. Unless you want extreme FOMO you're going to have to just grin and bear it. At least it will be something to laugh about with your mates the morning after.

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You can't see me

Sobar smoking area

Sobar is the night out you go on when you have no intention of actually dancing, but instead freezing your bollocks off all night in smokers. Everyone seems to be there, which can be awkward as hell, especially if you end up stacking it down the slippery stairs of death.

Top tip: Pretty tough to avoid people unless you just don't go out. You could join a society and go in a costume as a disguise. Or for once spend some time on the dance floor?

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oh shit, c yaaaa

The Redbrick

There's always something going on on the Redbrick, usually involving free shit…and free shit means a lot of students. You could be picking up some fruit and veg at the market on a Monday, when across the cauliflowers you spy Friday night's one night stand. Less than ideal.

Top Tip: Try and find an alternative route to your lectures. It seems a dramatic solution, but it's a long walk across the Redbrick anyway, so what's an extra five mins walk – without the stress?!

Jubilee gym

If you are attempting to avoid anyone involved in sports, you're going to find this very challenging. Jubilee gym is small and has a lot of members, so you are likely to see whoever you're avoiding at some point, only this time you'll be sweaty and in lycra. A situation ideally avoided.

Top tip: A Pure Gym membership is only £15 a month and has no contract, it's 24 hour and just a short drive/bus ride away in either Shirley or by Central Station. If you can stand the locals, this is your best option.

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Some shots just aren't worth the hassle

Societies

Societies are an incestuous world, which is inevitably messy. You join up to "meet people" but in reality we actually mean, find our soul mate/next shag. Yet, all that happens is you go to that one social and take it way too far, and the next training everyone knows you've been at it, and you can't look each other in the eye.

Top tip: It's hard, but try and choose people from other societies, it's much less awkward. Or if things have gotten unbearable, join a new society for some fresh meat.

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It might seem bants at first but it soon gets old

Lectures

You became bezzie mates in the introductory lectures, and promised to meet up. But months rolled by and it never happened and now you just make awkward eye contact before looking away. Or the mystery person you got with Tuesday suddenly sits down in the row in front of you in your 9am. It's TOO DAMN EARLY for that kind of stress!

Top tip: Go up to your first week mate, maybe ask if they want to go for a coffee or a pint after the lecture, you might reconnect and realise why you got on so well in the first week, or it may fizzle out like it did before – but at least you know you tried.

And sometimes getting with people on your course can't be avoided, although the worst thing you can do is get with someone from your seminar…then you actually have to speak to them.

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Smile and wave

In your own house

This is the big boy, and to be honest you only have yourself to blame. You were told so many times in freshers not to get with your flatmate, but here you are awkwardly eating breakfast together and upsetting the house dynamic.

Top tip: Don't shit where you eat.

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A lurker in its natural habitat