Here’s everything you should NOT say to third year Soton students

We are fragile, OKAY?!


With semester two here, many third years are losing their minds that the end of their uni career is in sight.

The slightest off-hand comment can send us into total meltdown, wondering what the hell we’re going to do after uni and how on Earth we’re going to deal without our weekday nights out. Here is a definitive list of what NOT to say to us, unless you want to witness us breaking down in tears.

"OMG! This is the last time that…"

There’s always that one Debbie Downer that has to remind us that this will be the last time ever we’ll be going to a Christmas ball or to a Halloween social.

Going forward, please refrain from informing us that this will be our last ever Pancake Day at university or the last ever week one of semester two – not helpful or appreciated.

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"What are you doing after uni?"

Maybe we should invest in a t-shirt saying yes I am a third year, no I have no idea what I’m doing when I graduate.

"Not long left now…"

HAHAHA YES THANKS I KNOW.

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Don’t mention the words "commute", "mortgage", "taxes", or any other terms you associate with adulthood

Not words we want to have in our vocabulary just yet. And the idea of a mortgage is quite frankly terrifying.

Or the word "debt"…

Will we pay it back or won’t we pay it back? Who knows and who really cares right now?

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"And you're still single?"

No, I didn't find the love of my life at university and no, I do not want to talk about it.

"This time next year…"

The idea that I might not be hanging out my arse and living in a shit student house this time next year actually makes me feel a bit ill. Unless you're going to remind me that I'll be free of deadlines or revision in a year's time, kindly keep your mouth shut.

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"Why don’t you know what you want to do?"

You don’t HAVE to know what you’re doing when you leave uni. There’s really nothing wrong with taking a year out to think about what you want to do with your life, and it’s far better than jumping into something you’re not passionate about.

"Why are you going out so much?"

It might be the most important year of my life, but it’s also the last time I can go out on a week day, so leave me alone to drown my sorrows in cheap vodka.

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Just don’t ask us "why" at all

"Why are you doing a masters? Why are you moving back with your parents? Why aren’t you going travelling?"

For many of us, what we want to do after uni changes every week. Don’t ask us why we’re doing what we’re doing or it will lead us to question everything and probably have a breakdown.

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"You haven’t found a job yet?"

Six months is still a very long time to find a grad scheme, Karen, pipe the fuck down.

"That’s if you get a job…"

Here comes pessimistic Polly to tell us ill-informed facts about the lack of jobs available for graduates. And there’s always one smug arsehole who didn’t go to uni, just waiting to watch you struggle to find a job with a degree. Don’t listen to them, chances are you’ll be absolutely fine.

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"So are you going to get a first?"

Honestly, right now just a 2:2 and a good night's sleep would be grand.

"How's your dissertation coming along?"

SEE YA.

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