Soton’s Maddest Fresher 2018: Winner revealed
“Balls is in my name” – it just makes sense
So, after numerous nominations, weeks of deliberation and three intense rounds, the winner of Soton's Maddest Fresher 2018 and the first of many mad fresher awards is…Archie Ball!
Each Maddest Fresher contestant has supplied us with outrageous stories, so why has Archie come out on top? We believe the only explantation for this is his impressive time management skills, succeeding in doing so many ridiculous things in the short seven days of Freshers' Week.
Archie may be doing, potentially, the most boring degree Soton has to offer – Accounting and Finance – but that hasn't stopped him making a name for himself in the few months he's been here.
Other nominees were entered because of their embarrassing sex stories or bad drunken decisions or simply doing stupid shit because why not? But Archie managed to do it all:
He firstly climbed onto the roof of a moving taxi – this level of courage is something we can only dream of having and an event we all wish we witnessed. He also went back to a girl's halls, had sex with her, got up to go for a wee and realised too late that he was pissing in her wardrobe rather than her ensuite. In true Reading festival fashion, Archie then accidentally drank piss out of a can mistaking it for a fresh cider. He finally finished the long and exhausting week by purchasing a tattoo gun off the internet and whipping it out at pres so his mate could give it a go.
Congrats Archie! He admitted that winning this would mean more to him that his degree, so this must be a big moment for him.
If you're reading this, hoping to get into Southampton University next year and thinking "Wow… what a man" – just remember, you only ever have one Freshers' Week, so make every Quad Vod count.