The definitive list of every little thing that pisses off Southampton students
If you don’t relate, you’re probs a Solent x
Southampton is a weird and wonderful place. It doesn't win any prizes for being the prettiest city, the edgiest uni or the for having the fittest students, but it's where many of us call home and so only we're allowed to bitch about it.
Although we love it dearly, after living here for a while, there are various downsides that come with attending Southampton uni that every Soton student will moan about on a daily basis at least.
So, here they are.
How little we’re appreciated by the rest of the UK
How underestimated our nightlife is
We have a club for every occasion, we have great events AND we have mEnTaL house parties.
That nobody believes we’re a Russell Group
*cough* We're acc in the top 20 *cough*.
That the only fun activities to do in Soton is West Quay, the cinema or leaving Southampton
When the price of a bus ticket to town increases by 20p!!!
A £50 ASOS order is one thing, but this is seriously breaking the budget now.
(For drivers) the sheer number of traffic lights in the city centre
A taxi driver once told me Southampton was the traffic light testing capital of England.
The shit beaches
No, the Docks don't count.
The weird locals that live in Portswood
They're either very drunk and think catcalling is socially acceptable or they're judge-y, rich OAPs who are still baffled by all the "young people" roaming about.
How hot Hartley Library is
Honestly, if you're wondering where our £9,000 a year goes, it's on a heating system that manages to keep all five floors above 30 degrees, all year round. We really don't need it – the hike up Church Land does the fucking job.
When one person takes up a double booth in the Library
Some of us actually have important group discussions that need to be had.
When you forget your student ID and the librarian gives you a full blown interrogation
Look Karen, I’m literally on your system – leave me alone and unlock turnstile three.
When the bus is 23 minutes late and you miss your train home
Who's gonna do my laundry now??? Not you Mr bus-driver man.
That the shit sandwiches from the library cost like £3
Plus, if you're smart enough to bring your own food, but forget cutlery – you have to pay to use theirs.
The price of the sushi on campus
If you want sushi anywhere on campus you have to be willing to spend at least £6 and it's shit. If you're boujee but can't afford to be, we recommend Aldi.
When someone shits up the wall in the cubicle in library toilets
I already don't want to be here, please don't make it worse. Also, you need to see a doctor.
How smelly Portswood is
A mix of sweaty stressed students, illegal substances and mould.
When we say we go to Southampton Uni and people reply with “oh, Solent?”
No, I actually did A-Levels.
The size of the queue in the shop when you’re in a rush
There needs to be a speedy queue for when you gotta run. No one wants to be the annoying student, loudly opening a sandwich and munching on crisps in the middle of the lecture.
That mould in the corner of your Portswood home
Piss off mate, we all have to pay rent!!
When you have a lecture at Avenue and one at Highfield right afterwards
Perfect, I love arriving to my lecture dripping in sweat.
How shit Avenue Library is
Oh cool, I’ll just sit on my friend's lap and use his head for a desk???
When the bus doesn’t stop because its too full to let more people on
Taxi it is then.
How far the good halls (Glen, Chambers, maybe Monte) are from any supermarket
Aldi doesn't do home delivery, Sainsbury's requires two different buses and ASDA is in the city centre. Liberties.
Uber always having a ridiculous surge charge at night
Cancelling last minute and ruining your Uber rating hurts less when you’re drunk at least.
A Circuit laundry meme page was created – that should tell you how shit it is. RIP to all the money you’ll never see again.
Rush hour in Soton is like no other.
The uni buildings that require a student ID to enter
It's at the bottom of my bag, I'm late and I really can't be arsed. Better walk home then.
And we're not talking about Mayflower fuck boys.
The queue for Switch
Only made more painful by the entry fee when you get to the front.
People who talk in the library
Come on, I might cry.
People who tell you to be quiet in the library
We're all hypocrites.
The pointless debate between US and SUSU
No explanation needed.
When you have no Union President for the year
Is it still too fresh to joke?
The “if my hands were here, someone else’s could’ve been” notes
I left for five minutes – I really think you're taking you're role as "Library security" too far.
The Oceana bouncers
Yes, we get it – stand on the cross and look into the camera. Let me inside woman.
The Oceana queue
It goes all the way round the corner, it's cold, it's raining and Oceana defo isn't worth it.
The diseased Portswood pigeons
Almost as bad as the Portswood-specific strain of chlamydia.
When the Sobar stairs are slippery and you fall down
No worries – I didn’t need my arm anyway.
Non-Soton students thinking Switch is the shit
One guy even went live on Facebook at a Friday night Switch. Honestly, they have random podium dancers, over-priced drinks and the same badly remixed chart music – get over it.
When you go to Trago lounge and see everyone you know
You're probs very hungover and you defo embarrassed yourself in front of everyone there last night. No caramel iced latte for you – it's time to leave.
When you turn up to 7Bone any time of day and get asked to come back in 20 mins
I can see free tables, please, I don't even live in Portswood!
When you tell people you live in City Gateway halls and they respond “where’s that?”
You know that cigarette on the skyline? Yeah that's me.
When your lecturer’s a slave owner
Wondering why your 9am got cancelled to find out your lecturer is in prison.
When your lecturers are generally politically incorrect
That Deliveroo always arrives cold
We can only feel sorry for the poor Deliveroo cyclist struggling up Church Lane for about three hours while your sexy double meat, double cheese burger goes cold.
The old Portswood locals who rock up uninvited to house parties
Don't they have a family to spend time with? They may think they can sneak in unnoticed but they're literally at least double our age.
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