21 things you should never do in Hartley Library

On behalf of all Soton students, don’t be this person

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Hartley Library requires a certain kind of etiquette, which some people just clearly do not have. If you're a first year hitting the library ready for January exams (wtf is wrong with you), or a final year starting your diss but need a Hartley refresher…here are all the things you DON'T need to do.

Don't choose the wrong section

Don't sit in a silent area if you intend on chatting about what happened in Sobar last week, instead of knuckling down to some studying. Equally, don't sit in the first part of level one if you're expecting quiet study space, and then give everyone evils when they do no work whatsoever.

Make sure you also have a clear understanding of which floor is for you. A simple way to remember it is: the higher the floor, the more hardcore you intend to study. And don't even think about the fifth floor, unless you can hold your breath the entire time, because even that makes too much noise.

Don't let the library staff bully you

So technically you shouldn't leave your work station for more than 30 minutes, otherwise someone else is allowed to come and take over the space. However, in reality who actually has the balls to do this? So unless its exam season, who really cares.

Main point here is, if you receive a note saying you've been gone too long ignore it.

I was literally gone for nine minutes

Don't get your feet out

I get it, summers are getting hotter down south, and the library can get a little sweaty in exam season with all those stressed-out bodies. But this is NO EXCUSE for taking your shoes and socks off, or even worse, removing your feet from your sandals…your feet are already out?!

No one around you wants to see your toes, or even the dirty soles of your feet, and you're only going to end up on someone's Snapchat stories.

Here we have a double sin: crocs and feet out

Don't give everyone bronchitis

Don't be one of those people that stands right outside Hartley smoking, forcing everyone to walk through your cloud of stank. It's also pretty shit for the person sat next to you, who has to constantly smell you, until you go take your next cig break. Filthy.

Don't leave your laptop unattended

Apparently Soton has really descended into a life of crime. With it being reported at least 20 people had their laptops stolen in one week alone. But when you have to take your laptop with you when you pop to the loo, fill your water bottle up or take a phone call, its all a bit long.

You'll also look v suspicious walking into the cubicle with ur laptop in hand

Don't get distracted by your library crush

Just because you made eye contact once, does not mean that you should start planning the wedding. The library can seem full of sorts when you're bored senseless, but nothing is going to happen, except ruining your revision schedule.

Don't bring smelly food in

Don't inflict your tuna pasta on everyone else, take it outside. If you're revising during summer, this is also a good way to go and get some vitamin D.

Eat that stinky cous-cous girl

Don't be the person that sets of the alarms

It's pretty simple, and you will have been told about it in your inductions: wait for the "thud" noise before being sure you can safely take the book out. Its hard to miss this sound, and if you're not sure you can just go to the main desk. Asking the library staff is better than them shouting at you to stop and come back, after you've set off the alarms.

Don't buy food in the library café

​Food on campus is not, in my opinion, particularly well priced or good value, but Hartley's café has to be the randomest collection of food ever (Sushi, Croque Monsieur, yogurt???), whilst being pricey af. Best option is to walk up to Co-op and get yourself a cheeky meal deal, or make your own lunches.

Only way through an all-nighter is Domino's

Don't play any kind of Facebook video

…until you know for sure your sound is off, its awkward as hell for you, but it is funny af watching someone frantically trying to turn off a screaming Vine.

Don't reserve a seat with only a notebook

We get it, a seat in Hartley with a working plug during exam season is like gold dust, but you can't reserve it with a notebook or just a backpack for two hours until you feel ready to finally start studying.

It wouldn't be so bad if the space wasn't sat empty for hours, meanwhile people are doing laps of the library to try and find a seat.

Don't expect to find a good space after 10am

10am is the very latest you can expect to find a good space during busy seasons. A good space meaning, not too loud, a working plug, and good proximity to break spaces (toilets, water fountains, stairwells, etc).

If you arrive any later than this you literally have no hope, unless you're a night owl, in which case come around 7pm when a lot of people go home for dinner.

Empty desks, what a beautiful sight

Don't leave your phone on loud

Are you that much of a robot that you don't even flinch as you inflict the sounds of your WhatsApp group blowing up on everyone else? Worst sound ever has to be the keyboard sounds on an iPhone…turn them off people.

And don't leave your phone on vibrate

This is a whole separate issue to having your sound on. Don't leave your phone on the desk to just vibrate away. It might not be bothering you, but on those long, shared tables, you're pissing literally everyone else off. Ever wondered why you're getting so many death stares? Its like a mini earthquake every time you get a message.

Don't dress for the arctic

Hartley Library is officially the world's largest sauna, no matter whether it's hot or cold outside.

Another pair of library feet for you

Don't expect a quick hop to the loos

I don't think the boys toilets share the same desperate situation the girls do, where you can spend a good half hour just queuing.

Maybe its the fact only two cubicles are supposed to service each floor, or maybe people just take the whole trip to the loo as an extended study break, either way there is a whole lot of congestion just to go for a quick wee.

You try various different toilets, but lose hope when they all have a similar length queue, and when you're waiting in silence for someone to eventually come out, you question what the hell they were even doing in there?!

Don't be those people who make study caves

It's really cringe to put scarves across the booths like you're some kind of celeb who can't be viewed by the public, and need a VIP study space. None of us like being spotted in the library hungover and in our trackies, but at the end of the day we have degrees to get. Stay in your lane divas.

Who knows what they get up to in there

Don't be oblivious

Totally understandable that some people sweat more than others, especially as previously said, Hartley is super hot. But please don't just sit there doing nothing, regularly applying deodorant – it's really not fair on everyone else, we want to study too without the stench of BO.

Don't talk loudly about the birds you've been shagging

Honestly no one wants to hear about it, its probably not even true if you have to say it that loud.

Don't hang around the social areas…

…if you're trying to avoid a one night stand, that person that won't stop messaging, or even your ex. Nobody enjoys awkward eye contact, and there really is nowhere to hide.

Everyone you never want to see will be here

Don't make a sex tape

Apparently it's a thing to record yourself getting freaky in between the shelves, and whatever you want to get up to is fine but just don't record it. It will only end up getting mentioned on Tell Him/Tell Her Southampton – or The Soton Tab…