We asked Soton students for the stupidest reasons they’ve been kicked out of a club

You’ll laugh about it in the morning…maybe


We've all had those nights where you get a bit too drunk and become the liability of the group. A lot of the time, you can stay under the radar and avoid drawing attention to yourself as being a total mess.

However, there are times when you take things too far and draw the attention of a suspicious bouncer, desperate to jump at an opportunity to use their power and expel you from "their" club.

We asked Soton students for their stupidest, funniest and most embarrassing reasons they were kicked out of a club and this is what we got. You'll be glad it wasn't you.

Rubbing my nipples on the red glass cube in Cafe Parfait

I was really feeling the sexy RnB music in Cafe Parfait so I got in the red glass cube, started dancing and next thing I knew I was taking my top off to the hot tunes. I think I took it too far when I started rubbing my nipples on the glass – I was seriously in the zone until a bouncer came over and killed my vibe.

Taking your top off is positively encouraged when Baywatch is playing at Jesters, but in Parfait it gets you removed almost immediately?

I bonked in Jester's two-bicle

It was a Monday night, I was a bit horny, and a guy was making eyes at me across the dance floor during Sean Paul's "Temperature". We got with each other and things started to heat up, so we ended up banging in the Jester's two-bicle.

This is the old Jester's two-bicle, so the door didn't lock and we were caught halfway through the act. I don't know who was more mortified, us or the bouncer who caught us.

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Thirsty work…

Getting carried away on the Switch bouncy castle

Me and my mate got a bit overexcited when we saw that Switch had a bouncy castle, so we let out our inner twelve-year-olds and started to bounce.

It was all fun and games until we got a carried away and thought it was a good idea to start play-fighting. My mate took it too far and swung me, sending me flying off of the castle and landing at the bouncer's feet with a thud. She asked us to come with her immediately.

I pulled an innocent looking cable out and the club music went silent

I was coming back from the toilet on a night out when I found a suspicious looking wire near the dance floor – I was intrigued. Convinced it couldn't be important, I pulled it out.

Suddenly, the music stopped playing and the club was in a state of confusion. When the bouncer came to see what had happened I denied all knowledge of it, blaming a poor innocent bystander who happened to be stood near me. I think the fact the wire was at my feet gave the game away, though.

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Where's the music gone?

I did karate on the Switch dance floor

I had been attending martial arts classes at the university and wanted to show off the new skillz I had learned. I started whipping out some kung fu moves on the Switch dance floor and obviously the people around me were intimidated by my mad talent because I got asked to leave.

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Oh THAT'S what those dance moves were…

I dropped a pill at a bouncer's feet

I was out at a Switch event with my friends from home and accidentally dropped a pill on the floor. To my horror, it landed at a bouncer's feet. When he asked me what it was, I panicked. Not wanting to waste a perfectly good pill, I picked it up and put it in my mouth. Needless to say, I got escorted out pretty quickly after that.

After chundering in the toilet, I got kicked out of S-Club at Oceana and cried all the way home

It was freshers in first year and to my delight, S-Club were making a special appearance at Oceana. I was so excited to boogie with my new mates so defo drank a bit much at pres.

Miraculously, I made it in, but went straight to the toilets and was violently sick. I got rumbled by a bouncer and tried to play it cool, insisting I was fine now. She wasn't having it though, so I legged it away from her and tried to hide in the dance floor.

I got discovered pretty quickly and security got called. When they arrived they just laughed at me – I'm a five foot female who was crying about missing S Club. I sobbed all the way home about missing "Reach Up for the Stars".

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But I really wanted to see Don't Stop Movin' :((((

I had too many jesticles and got fight-y

It was 12:30am in Jesters. I had had too many jesticles and was suffering acid reflux, so I really wasn't feeling the night. I must have looked a bit smashed because a random stranger asked if I was okay.

I didn't like his tone and thought he was mugging me off so I started yelling and tried to fight him. A bouncer overheard me shouting and I got asked to leave. I had hardly been there an hour.

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I AM FINE!!!!

After being refused entry three times I made a run for it and was rugby tackled by security

It was the humanities Christmas ball and I had taken things a bit too far at Pres, so by the time I reached Oceana I was pretty hammered. I got refused entry three times by the bouncers but I wasn't going to give up that easily – I had spent £25 on that ticket and didn't want to see it go to waste. In an act of pure determination I sprang over the barrier and attempted to run up the stairs before getting tackled by security.

I woke up to a text from my mate saying "Stop, you're going to get arrested". They confiscated my ID and I still haven't got it back, a whole year later.

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Honestly mate I've only had like two ciders

I got kicked out for mistaking the men's toilets for the women's?!

I was out with my mates and we were all pretty smashed. I decided to go to the toilet, but once I had got in there, I spied the urinals and realised I had made a terrible error – I had gone in the men's instead of the women's.

The bouncer wasted no time in making me leave the club, even though I insisted that I had honestly just not read the sign properly. It didn't help that I fell all the way down the stairs on my way out, either.

I was fireman-lifted out of Switch whilst my mates cheered me on

It was the final event of second year, my friends had come down to visit and all my uni responsibilities were behind me – so I was pretty excited. The pres were big, I wasn't paying attention to how much I was drinking and by the time I got to Switch I was very drunk. I wanted to impress my mates so I stayed composed. They continued buying me drinks and next thing I know I'm in the smoking area being held up by a stranger

I don't remember much apart from a security guard noticing I wasn't okay, asking for my name, to which I replied "bedushmeh" (not my name). He then fireman-lifted me out of the smoking area, down the stairs, past my mates who were encouragingly chanting my name, into a secret emergency exit and out of the building. My night ended at around 12:07am.

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c ya never x