36 things you will definitely hear in an all-girls house in third year

By the end of the year you will all be full-time sad girls


When it comes to organising your housing for third year, you're pretty clued-up on who you like at uni and who you don't. A lot of people would argue that this year was their favourite because you're actually living with your best mates!

After experiencing mixed-flat sharing in halls and perhaps giving it another go in second year, most girls come to realise that all-female houses are ideal.

However, put a group of girls in a small building in their final year at uni and certain things will definitely happen. We think it's about time the world knows what's really being said behind the closed doors to these fairy light-filled, nice smelling, "tidy" houses. Be warned boys, this might be slightly traumatic for you.

I'm stressed

It's no surprise that the third-year work load is wank, so obviously everyone's stressed and everyone feels the need to talk about it 24/7.

I'm stressed about being this stressed

The cycle is ENDLESS.

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fml

What are you guys doing for your dissertation?

"Give me some inspo, I'M GOING TO FAIL."

I told a fresher I was a third year and they pitied me…

Feels like just yesterday that you were a fresher, speaking to third years and genuinely feeling sad for them that they're that old and actually have to care about their degree.

Now, as a third year, first year girls talk to you like you're an OAP and fresher boys only show interest because they think they've hit gold finding an "older lady".

That washing up pile is growing I swear

With a heavy workload and regular breakdowns, no one has time for washing up.

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I legit do my washing up straight away, I swear.

Ffs why are next door being SO loud

Carefree laughter and shitty music is your kryptonite.

They're defo second years

If your neighbours are being disruptive and noisy, they can't possibly be as stressed and exhausted as you – they must be second years… dickheads.

My skin's so shit

Hormonal girls + stress + stress eating + "cba to take my make up off" = third-year breakouts.

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I actually cba

Is anyone putting the kettle on?

You're all slowly turning into middle-aged women whose answer to all of life's qualms is a nice, hot cuppa.

What are we watching tonight? The Chase?

It's literally always on. And it's literally fucking amazing.

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No turn it off, we watched this one yesterday

Oww my fairy lights have run out of battery

Fairy lights are an essential part of all-girl houses to ensure they stay looking wholesome and cosy, and distract from the mouldy plates and biscuit wrappers lying around.

God forbid they should run out, forcing you to turn the main light on and exposing you all!!!

I'm getting too old for this

A couple of months difference between being in second year and starting third year, yet why does it feel like we've aged ten years?

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"I feel so rough"… we went out three days ago????

Is anyone on campus today, I need a coffee break

Coffee is the only drug third-years really need (and can afford).

I have so much work to do. Ahh mate don't

Don't remind your housemates of all the work they have to do, by moaning about all the work you have to do. It's unproductive, unhelpful and really selfish.

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I hate uni x

Does anyone have a laptop charger I can borrow?

Your laptop is your lifeline. With your reading, lecture notes, diss prep and group chats – if this dies, there's nothing left.

What's everyone drinking tonight? Actually can't do this anymore

Coming into your third year at university, you've over-drank and thrown up on basically ALL alcohols… the first sip only get's harder and harder.

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SQUODKAAAA

Answer to any social event: Nahh way too much reading to do

With various deadlines and too many 9ams, it's actually a miracle if you manage to go out as a house together. And anyway, even if you do manage it, you'll all probs get waaaaay too excited, throw up at pres and end up in Subway instead.

I think I'll just get Deliveroo

Shit skin, too much work, no sleep and 3 day hangovers – Deliveroo is ALWAYS the answer.

Defo wasn't worth the tenner

What you up to today? Hartley literally all day

You're basically best mates with the librarian now and you defo see her more than your mum.

We ARE going out tonight because we're not boring third years

Yesss honey!! Remind yourself that you're still young and fun and ready to PARDAAAY – even though you'll be desperately trying not to gag through your drink and will immediately leave the room if anyone mentions "shots".

@1am: Does anyone wanna get food?

You did your best… now you're cold, hungry and stressing about the work you have to do tomorrow – FOOD TIME.

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Everyone's fav part of the night

I mean I don't even want a boyfriend, I barely have time for myself

Most of your flatmates/course mates/the whole year are in relationships but you're far too busy and independent to need a man, right???

I'm lonely

Not right. All you really want is to come home after a long, stressful day, have a quick bonk and finish up with back tickles.

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i'm fine.

Anyone seen my slippers?

A necessity to ensure the heating doesn't go on until snow has fallen. This way, you can save money and spend it on the important things – more fairy lights!!!

I love being able to walk around naked

No boys SO free the nips ppl.

Girls are SO much cleaner

"You all smell so nice and you actually appreciate nicely placed pillows on the sofa – luv u guyzzz"

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mmm what moisturiser is that, smells so good bbsss

I miss boys

Turns out girls aren't actually cleaner. In fact, although they do smell nice, they leave mugs EVERYWHERE, there's always hair blocking the plug and jumpers/socks/bras can be found all over the show.

I'm horny

A lack of boys in the house, little time for personal grooming, and being too old and worn out for one night stands means not much shagging. And boy do you miss it.

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It's acc been so long since I've touched a man

I need a poo

With no boys around and the fact you've known these girls a good couple of years now – you finally have the freedom to talk openly about your bowels.

Face mask time!

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Gonna wake up looking FRESH

Ffs I'm on my period

As if you don't have enough to worry about, NOW you have to keep on top of the blood pouring out of your vagina as well as the mood swings, the acne and the cravings that come with it.

Have we all synced up?

What's worse than one moody PMS housemate? A whole house of them – WW3, RIP.

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WHO ATE MY LAST DIGESTIVE?!?!? FUUUUUCK

I got with a fresher last night… am I a cougar?

The sad anxiety that comes with smooching a fresher and fearing you're now on the sex offenders list.

Pub? I need alcohol

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Wine is always the answer.

Guys can we pls series link Dinner Date

They never stay together, it's always super awkward and the food is shit. But you watch it EVERY NIGHT without fail.

I think I'm just gonna go travelling next year

"Fuck it all, I'm gonna live in the mountains and find myself"

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yasss bitch.