24 things you wish someone had told you before Freshers’ Week at Southampton

1. Don't get dressed up for Jesters and Sobar

We learned this the hard way, returning home in your fave white trainers to discover they are now your new brown trainers. In fact, the Southampton dress code is basically "trainers, jeans and a nice top," so if you're wearing heels at any point before the Freshers' Ball, you're doing it wrong.

2. Don't underestimate the power of a QuadVod

We all know one rugby lad who claims to be immune from hangovers and reckons he could down four QuadVods in one night. Believe me when I say, they are lethal, and you will be the dickhead who has to be carried home on the first night of Freshers'.

3. Don't buy the events wristband

This is just a well-known fact for all freshers around the country. This purchase is pointless.

4. Avoid foam parties like the plague

It's all fun and games until you're left blind and very nearly suffocate.

5. Prepare for the anarchy at the Highfield interchange before a night out

There will be endless football chants, a random girl arguing with a pissed off bus driver because she can't take her Bulmers onboard and probably someone climbing a lamp post while his mates record him on Snapchat.

Get ready to elbow your way to the front of the queue and pull your mates on with you by force. Also, try not to chunder during the journey – you'll be kicked off and left stranded in the middle of The Avenue.

6. Say 'yes' to things

Have pres with the flat next door. Go on that humanities bar crawl or the Dance Soc social. Go have drinks with your flatmates at The Hobbit or The Stag. Make the most of the opportunity to make new mates and try something new!

7. Meet as many people as possible

Add people on Facebook, message them to walk to campus, invite them to your pres – just put yourself out there! Everyone is feeling nervous and self-conscious so if you're the person who can break the ice, you'll make SO many more friends and hopefully find a great group of mates!

8. You probably won't meet your BFFFFFFFLs in the first week

Freshers' Week is where you will meet the most people in the shortest time. However, these people probably won't be your best mates through uni, in fact, give it a couple of months and you'll probably hate them all. Finding your mates is a process, so maybe don't promise in the first week that you'll live with them in second year… trust me, you'll regret it. TRUST. ME.

9. Be aware of strict bouncers

You wouldn't want to miss out on seeing Basshunter because a bouncer caught you chundering in the Oceana loos. Be smart and do it in the bushes before you go in.

10. Bring fancy dress and shit shirts

Southampton Freshers' Week is full of themed events, so don't be the girl who shows up to a Harry Potter social in bunny ears… Freshers' fancy dress is not the time to be sexy, it's the opportunity to show that guy you fancy how funny and extra you really are because you can rock a Dumbledore costume.

11. Be wary of the 'Freshers' shag'

There is a lot of expectation around Freshers' that it is the PRIME opportunity to sleep with people. This isn't necessarily the case – if you find people you're into then go for it! If not, don't rush things or feel pressured because all your mates are. Freshers' Week bonks tend to be the ones your mates will rinse you for throughout the rest of your uni life.

12. Don't bother with the introductory lectures in the first week

They're long, boring and even worse on the hangover you will definitely have.

13. Don't be the dickhead who lines up their empty vodka bottles on the windowsill

We get it hun, you drunk alcohol during Freshers' – no one cares x

14. Don't stress about work too early

You really don't need to be that prepared for your course. The lecturers are more interested in getting you comfortable with the group and with the structure of the module. I can assure you the stuff you do in the first couple of weeks will not be the topic of your dissertation so don't waste time stressing about it – unless you're a Medic, soz.

15. Don't compare yourself to your mates

Social media does a good job of making everyone's lives look perfect but don't worry too much about what your mates are getting up to. Freshers' is a confusing, overwhelming, messy experience for everyone. Don't feel bad about yourself just because Ellie's Freshers' looks better than yours – it probably isn't.

16. Freshers' probably WON'T be the best week of your life

You will laugh a lot but also cry a lot – and that's okay.

17. Pack condoms

This may seem like obvious advice but take it seriously. You don't want to be the person in the STI clinic during Freshers' Week – it's not fun.

18. Get ready for Freshers' Flu

It's coming and it's unavoidable, so don't try and fight it.

19. Don't sleep with your flatmate

AVOID THIS AT ALL COSTS. They probably aren't the love of your life and you'll have to live with them for the rest of the year. There are thousands of freshers out there to chose from that you can shag and not have to eat breakfast with the next day.

20. Join societies

Join as many as possible. If you decide you don't like one, you don't have to go back. They're such a great way to meet people with similar interests. Also, if they have socials they're an easy way to find a group of people to go out with!

21. Avoid Oceana disco room on Saturday

It will definitely be full of 40 year-olds desperately trying to cling on to their 20s by singing to Oasis and grinding on Freshers'.

22. Go to Cafe Parfait!

Not many Freshers know about Parfait because Switch, Sobar and Jesters' are more well-known and better advertised throughout Freshers' Week.

However, it is arguably one of the best clubs in Southampton. While you have the time and the youth of a first year to go out five times a week, make sure you save Thursdays for Parfait (they also give out free chocolate!!!).

23. If you don't spend 95 per cent of your time in the smoking area on a Sobar Tuesday, you're doing Freshers' ALL wrong

It has won unofficial awards for being the best smoking area in Southampton. It's the place to be.

24. Prepare yourself for the hangover of all hangovers

Once you pass the third day in a row of going out, you will start to feel very sorry for yourself. Bring a dressing gown, get your Netflix account ready, stock up on snacks and forget about all the regrets you have from the past week. If you get this far, you survived Southampton Freshers' – congrats!