Every type of person you’ll meet in halls
If you haven’t met one of them, its probably you
You’ve made it through one and a half semesters, and as Easter hols approach, its fair to say you will have met a lot of people in that time. Here’s a list that should sound pretty familiar:
The girl who came to uni with a boyfriend
A top mate, she’s always there for you as the wise one of the flat…when she’s not popping home every other weekend.
The guy who came to uni with a girlfriend
Spends the first week of freshers skyping her, then dumps her, and becomes your building’s biggest fuckboy.
The gap yah student
Tapestry on the wall, can be heard telling “omg so when I was on my gap yah in [insert generic backpacking country]” stories.
The sporty lad
Never wears anything but his stash, always found on a social in Oceana with a million VKs.
The all or nothing gal
Only ever seen with full on lashes, fake tan and heels for a night out, or looking like a completely different person in trackies.
The creators of drama on nights out. Bonus points for those who break the cardinal rule and get with someone in their flat.
The first timer
Uni is full of new things for them. They’ve left their suburban mummy bubble to experience clubbing, pulling, drugs and doing laundry for the first time. Will be found chunning up every morning after.
The international student
They add some culture to the flat, but never understand British student culture itself. If you invite them to pres, they’ll be the only ones on time. They’ll use your kitchen stuff, but their food tastes amazing so its a trade deal worth making.
Spends all their time in their room watching Game of Thrones continuously. Only ever sighted grabbing snacks to take back to their cave…until one day they randomly emerge for pres?!
The Erasmus student
Not quite as clueless as an international student, they’re here for a good time not a long time.
Seen but never heard, you hear them creeping around at night like some nocturnal animal, but when the sun comes up they’re nowhere to be seen.
The pull chart is their pride and joy, always making sure its up to date. For them its not the walk of shame its the stride of pride.
The 4th year
Back in halls because all their friends have left, they’re done with your freshers shit.
The messy af one
This shit gets old real quick. The leaning tower of dishes only pisses off the one person you should always aim to keep sweet, the cleaner.
The one who got adopted
Taken in because their flat is shit, you take them under your wing; inviting them on nights out. You feel bad when they have to reluctantly return to their own flat to sleep.
They’ve already been to uni before, dropped out, and so start the year putting everyone to shame by really trying. Only to find it all going to shit again, and fall back into their old habits.
The one who always goes home
They can’t stand to be away from home for too long, so they seem to disappear every weekend back to their mum who’ll do their washing and take selfies with their dog.
Snapchats everything to show their mates back home they’re having a good time. But when their story turns movie length, its time for an intervention.
The take-away king
Never has any food in the fridge, but the recycling bin is always full of Dominos boxes.
You didn’t believe peer pressure was a real thing until you came to uni, and you end up having to finishing your assignment on the day its due, whilst hungover.
The one who should have gone quiet living
They tried to be outgoing, and live with others, but when they get woken up at 3am they get pissy af and they just can’t handle the bants.
The passive aggressive one
Leaves post-it notes everywhere to show their discontent, but are too pussy to confront you face to face.