Every type of couple on Valentine’s Day

Which one are you?

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Some absolutely besoted, some in denial. We all know at least one of these couples, and if you don't it's probably because you're the couple.

The wet couple

They make each other breakfast in bed and spend the whole day saying how much they love each other. Their housemates have to constantly stare at the floor to avoid catching one of the couple's eyes whilst they are constantly kissing. They buy each other chocolates, roses and cards which consists of messages such as 'You're one in a million' or 'I love you to the moon and back'. If you're lucky you'll miss their horrifically cringey instagram.

The social media couple

Their relationship seems to exist only in the world of Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. They've posted a flipagram or a collage devoted to how much they love their other half and their wall consists of the Valentine's video made by Facebook.

The 'we're not a couple' couple

When you ask them what they're doing for Valentines Day they act as if they don't know who or what you're talking about. Claiming they're 'not tied down' but secretly spending the whole day with their 'friend'.

The balling couple

The girl will post an instagram of all her valentines presents, often consisting of Tiffany jewellery, the latest Yeezys or the newest Huda beauty palette. Later there will be a snapchat story with the caption 'boy did good' picturing their delicious meal at the Shard.

The money-saving couple

They have decided they don't need to spend money to have fun. They're either in Spoons, Subway, McDonalds, or bought the Waitrose dine two for £20.

The drinking couple

They don't go out for a special meal or buy a tasty dinner. Instead they start the night with red wine, move onto gin and tonics and finish with something even stronger before passing out in bed.

The horny couple

Everyone in their house/flat has organised to be out on Valentine's Day to avoid having to hear this couple going at it at least four times in one day. They don't try to be quiet.

The new couple

Neither of them quite know how to act and both have tried to avoid getting cards which say 'I love you', which isn't easy on Valentine's Day. Try not to walk in on their meal, it will consist of small talk and awkward conversation.

The singleton

If you're a girl you're not celebrating Valentine's, you're celebrating 'Galentine's'. You and the gals are going to see 50 Shades Freed in the cinema before heading to 7 Bone Burger for your Galentine's meal.

If you're a guy, you're going to start drinking about midday so that you are completely smashed and at the top of your game for when you hit up the clubs, praying on single girls. Or you're spending the night with your right hand…