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Things you will only experience if you are a resident of Gordon Avenue

The triumphs and tribulations of living on Gordon Avenue


As bright-eyed freshers you signed your first house on Gordon Avenue. Nothing seemed more exciting than living with five or so of your uni friends, walking distance to resturants, pubs and shops. However, living on Gordon Avenue you have probably realised it is not the homeliest road in Southampton.

You will have a 'crime alert' posted through your door

Nothing makes you feel safer than finding out there was a robbery a few doors down.

You will meet the finest crackheads

Perhaps it's looking out your window to find a strange man sat on your doorstep, strongbow in hand, unzipping his trousers to take a piss on your porch. Or maybe you've crossed the road multiple times and gotten your keys out long before you're at your front door out of fear of the intoxicated local following you. Whatever it is, Gordon Avenue seems to attract questionable personalities.

The Gordon Arms will become your second home

They have an adorable spaniel and sell £2.40 Doombars, what more could you want?

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You will regret your decision to bring a car to uni

Firstly, the parking spaces are rarer than your attandence to 9am lectures. Secondly, once you've found a space you require the very skillful ability of being able to parallel park. Thirdly, everytime you walk past your car you check the handles and paintwork as you live in constant fear that a local hooligan will take a key to your car. Finally, once you go to drive and pull out of your unmanagably small space, your heart skips a beat as you see another car hurtling towards you from the other direction, they break suddenly and all cars involved have to sit there for five minutes whilst everyone works out where to go so that one of you can get through.

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You will have a resident rat

Hopefully in your garden rather than your actual house.

You will realise the five minute walk to Sainsbury is too far

You usually end up in Waitrose claiming it's because of the 'brilliant reductions', but we all know it's only because you can't be bothered to walk to Sainsbury's.

Charlie's Bargain Booze

Whether it's the £10.99 vodka, a crate of beer or three 750ml Coronas for £5, got to support the local businesses.

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You will sneak your rubbish into someone elses bin

General waste only being collected every other week is just not enough to dispose of everyones rubbish. Unfortunately when you open the lid of your neighbours bin to put yours in, theirs is also completely full as they too have the waste from six people or more.