Every type of lecturer you will have at Uni

The One who's seminars are 'Student led'

Translation: He's going to be sitting in the corner, saying nothing for two hours. Don't expect any guidance whatsoever. He believes 'History isn't about facts'. Any question will be waved off with a vague answer. He probably also wears crocs.

The One who doesn't believe in PowerPoints

There will be no handy lecture slides for you. Instead, you will get a pre-written essay read out to you for 45 minutes. Better get your Dictaphones out because you won't be seeing that essay again. The Blackboard site is desolate. He will never reply to emails. He claims its because he doesn't understand technology. Strange, because he's reading his lecture notes (That he won't provide for you ever) from an iPad… You suspect he hates anyone under 50 and only turns up to fulfil his teaching requirement.

Paying £9000 a year to be taught by a guy dressed as a banana

The One who makes you buy their book

They hand you a book list at the beginning of the year, the most important one just happens to be written by them. They insist that this book is vital for the course. They promise it contains ground-breaking research, all the answers you could ever need, a cure for cancer and world peace- All for the bargain price of £66.99. The entire module is created solely to promo their book sales. If you ever browse the contents (which you won't), you will discover it's just the lecture slides which have been provided on Blackboard for free.

The One with unrealistic expectations

They set 10 'essential' readings every week. Each one is 30+ pages. They assume that everyone eat, sleeps and breathes their subject just because they do. They are severely deluded. Do they think you live in a cave?

The One that doesn't let you have a break during your double lecture

They power through your double lecture without so much as a breath. Take toilet breaks at your own risk. They won't stop and they won't repeat themselves. They rush out of the lecture hall before anyone can ask questions.

You will die here.

The One who forces you take a break

They make everyone stand up and stroll around the room awkwardly to keep you 'refreshed'. They have the windows open at all times, even through -5 gale force winds. They make everyone share a 'fun fact' about themselves at the beginning of every seminar and feel its important to have time to 'reflect' at the end. It feels one step away from holding hands round the campfire singing whale songs.

The One who can't make the sound work on videos

They stare in confusion at the screen. 'But it worked yesterday!' they cry in horror as they try and fail to rectify the situation. They fumble around with every wire to no avail before giving up and making you watch the video in silence anyway.

The Unicorn

They turn up on time and with a PowerPoint *Gasp* They're engaging, return your marked work on time (Sometimes even early!), they even record the lecturers for you and provide narrated essay guidance. Most shockingly of all, they actually care whether you pass or not. What a novelty. These lecturers are a rare breed and you are likely only to come across them once or twice during your time at University. When you do, treasure them.