All the struggles of a second year house
“It’s your turn to wash up” “But it’s not mine…”
2nd year is the year where you have to fend for yourself. There are no bills included no en-suites and no cleaners. It's a recipe for disaster and one we all know too well.
The Jenga Pile
Perhaps it is the array of tea bags stocked up to the high heavens against the wall or even the soggy pasta that someone cooked too much of. Either way, the jenga pile rings true to us all – with everyone refusing to take the bin out and replace the bin bag with a new one, the jenga pile is an avid feature in a 2nd year house.
The longer you make it last the better, the sparse use of bin bags is helping to save the planet after all. That is until someone gets fed up and spends the next half an hour trying to remove the rubbish that has been so squashed it's become a rigid bin shaped bail.
Someone else will wash it up
We didn't need the kitchen counter anyway, it's now a crusty plate and bowl covered drying rack.
I'll just let it soak
Putting water in it for a week isn't the same as washing up!
The food plug
You move the array of plates and pans out of the sink, but you suddenly cringe as your hands touch the soggy mass of pasta, noodles and onion hidden beneath them.
Try to jam it down with a fork? Yes.
Try to wash your bowl with just the running water from the tap? Yes.
Scoop the food out of the plug hole? Not a chance.
The inability to recycle
What's a recycling bin? And what goes in it? Why have the binmen refused to empty it for the 3rd week in a row? Doesn't food go in there?
The fag bottle/cup
I'm sure every student household has one, despite the no smoking policy… or perhaps my house is a rare breed.
How far can you fill it with ash and fag ends in one night?
What is a bin?
Despite some housemates finding the bin causing the thrilling game of jenga, some just can't seem to find it.
Why are there 5 bean tins on the side with mould in?
The funky fridge
The gag that goes with opening the fridge door.
The carpet on the carpet
Don't think of walking around without shoes on, oh no.
The carpet is covered by a lovely carpet of crumbs and left over crisp packets that someone clearly hasn't seen when they dropped them…
The mystery plate user
When you come to University you get the essentials, cutlery, a pan or two and a bowl and plate. But obviously not everyone does.
Despite not eating toast I always end up with my plates on the side with a half eaten slice of toast or covered in crumbs…despite having them washed in my cupboard. Hang on why is my spoon in that red bowl?
A museum of plastic bottles
Coke? Fanta? Lilt? Which exhibition would you like to see?
Dominos should sponsor us
A Student house wouldn't be a student house without a scattering of pizza boxes that don't seem to be able to make their way to the bin.
Everything goes wrong when we arrive
The shower breaks, the boiler breaks, the bath leaks, the dishwasher breaks, the heating doesn't work, we get black mould.
It's always our fault.
But despite all that, living with your mates, having endless cups of tea made for you, watching corrie together and having legendary house parties all make up for it.
Just mind the layer of plates covering every surface when you're dancing.